


Yuuri’s Love: Of Eros and Agape

by tezuzuzu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Closet Pervert Yuuri, Drama & Romance, Hung Victor Nikiforov, Insecurities, M/M, Masturbation, Pervert Victor, Yuuri POV, hung Victor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-11-05 04:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11005653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tezuzuzu/pseuds/tezuzuzu
Summary: To be fair, Yuuri worked in a bathhouse so he has probably seen it all. There were a couple of foreigners that dropped by their place from time to time... But Yuuri has never seen anything like the magnificent display of meat resting between those pale strong legs.--OR: The one where we find out that Yuuri is only human and he has flaws (and urges) just like everyone. Yuuri finds out that his long time idol is only human as well. Yuuri so desperately hopes his idol accepts his eros and agape.





	1. He's a God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initial notes:  
> 1\. Onsen - bath house  
> 2\. Kobuta-chan - little piggy  
> 3\. Bold & Italics - gives emphasize  
> 4\. Italics only - Yuuri's thoughts  
> 5\. Victor is spelled with a 'C' because Yuuri named his dog as 'Vicchan' with a 'C'.  
> 6\. Yuuri is spelled as Yuuri to avoid confusion between Yuri Plisetsky.
> 
> EDIT: This fic has been updated to fix some errors and an ETA for the next chapter has been added at the end notes.

**Yuuri's Love: Of Eros and Agape**

 

The first time Yuuri Katsuki saw Victor Nikiforov’s unclothed cock was in his family’s onsen. It seemed like a perfectly normal day when his mother asked him to help shovel the snow out in front of their family’s bathhouse. Imagine his surprise when he got back from his chore to find himself knocked down by a bundle of brown fur. Said fluff ball seemed elated to see him and did not show any intention of stopping its act of licking Yuuri’s face, consequently knocking his glasses farther up his nose.

“Vic-chan?!”

That seemed to have caught the dog’s attention as it stared questioningly at Yuuri, tongue lolling out and paws resting on Yuuri’s admittedly hefty tummy. “No, you’re too big to be Vic-chan.”

“Looks just like our Victor, eh?”

His head snapped up to look at his father carrying a tray of newly folded towels.

“He arrived this morning with a good-looking foreigner.”

Oh. This dog is a pet of one of the guests. Funnily, Yuuri thought that the owner must be really lucky to have such an adorable critter. Wait a minute, this dog arrived this morning... Obviously, that wasn’t what Yuuri worried the most about from his father’s statement.

Yuuri’s eyes widened in realization. _No way_... Before he could think of anything else, his body moved on its own – clumsily standing and almost tripping before knocking one of the table decorations his mother always, **_always_ ** scolds him to wipe at least once a week when he’s helping out.

The indoor bathhouse’s door slammed so loud that Yuuri might have winced at the possible scolding he would likely hear from his mother about behaving when there were customers around. Except, Yuuri didn’t care. His thoughts raced to the possibility of seeing _**him**._ _He’s not here_ , Yuuri thought as he hastily scanned the indoor bathhouse. That meant that **_he_ ** could be in the outdoor portion of the bathhouse.

Yuuri ran as fast as his feet could take him to the entrance of the outdoor bath, and without much thought of what could possibly lying at the end of the door, swung it open. His glasses fogged from the steam but there was no denying what he saw. At the far end of the spring was the lone man with silver hair who was probably the only person in Japan who would want to soak in an outdoor onsen in the middle of a tropical snow. He must have noticed the commotion caused by Yuuri’s abrupt slam of the sliding door and Yuuri was greeted by probably the most beautiful eyes the world has ever seen.

Did Yuuri mention anything about this being a man? Nope, not a chance, this is no man. This is a GOD.

He stood from his spot and Yuuri couldn’t stop his eyes fast enough before it traveled to a long stretched neck, down to well-defined collar bones, then further down to a ‘V’ shape past the chiseled abs and finally, just above the water…

Holy shit.

Yuuri was right. This being cannot possibly be human. How can someone already so perfect still be gifted by something like _**that** _?

To be fair, Yuuri worked in a bathhouse so he’s seen it all. There were a couple of foreigners that dropped by their place from time to time, especially since their bathhouse was the only one left in their little town. Most of the others have shut down or renovated to a different establishment so it’s not like anyone has much choice on the matter.

But Yuuri has never seen anything like the magnificent display of meat resting between those pale strong legs.

“Yuuri,” the god purred, elegantly stretching one arm towards Yuuri. “Starting today I’ll be your new coach.”

Yuuri’s eyes regrettably snapped up from that view back to those magnetic ocean-blue eyes.

“... And you’re going to win” he added, smirking and winking at Yuuri.

Really, Yuuri was only human. When a god graces you with such actions, you’d have to look away in shame. Unfortunately for Yuuri, his eyes shifted back to the glorious **cock** laid out before him. As a consolation, Yuuri’s glasses was still slightly fogged up so he hoped (and prayed to all the gods out there) that his stare wasn’t too obvious.

Yup, Victor Nikiforov definitely lived up to the title of a ‘living legend’. Now, however, Yuuri is considering a protest cause to change that title to something else.

Because Victor Nikiforov wasn’t just a living legend. He was a god. And no matter what anyone says, Yuuri will not be deterred from this self-proclaimed fact.

Then Victor’s words slowly sunk in. “Huuuuuuh?!!!”

 

 

\--X

 

When Minako asked what transpired between the time when Yuuri saw Victor in the baths to his sleeping figure under the table next to an equally sleeping Makka-chin, Yuuri couldn’t possibly recall.

Why?

Simple. He just saw Victor Nikiforov naked. So very naked. And to top it off, he just saw his idol’s drool-worthy, prize-winning genitals. From afar Yuuri could tell that he was a good 5 inches long and Victor wasn’t even hard. Good lord what would he look like when fully erect?

Oh god, no. Don’t go there. _He’s your most respected idol for crying out loud._

Victor wakes up from his nap and asks for food. Yuuri graciously offers him his favorite dish which he was proud of calling his mother’s specialty.

When Victor calls him little piggy, Yuuri hoped the ground would just swallow him up. He knew he had been eating far too many pork cutlet bowls and doing far too little exercise to be deemed as a top figure skater certified by the JSF.

“You need to train down to your weight at last year’s Grand Prix final at least,” Victor tells him with that all too carefree smile. “Or else I can’t coach you. So why don’t you lay off the Katsudon. Okay, Kobuta-chan?” He adds while picking a grain of rice that managed to stick to one side of his chin and promptly popping it to his mouth.

“Hey, Yuuri?” His sister, Mari, calls from the other side of the dining area. “What’s up with all these boxes?”

Yuuri glances to the area being pointed by his sister before looking back questioningly at his idol. Or coach? No, he wasn’t Yuuri’s coach yet because according to Victor, he was still a fat piglet.

Yuuri and Minako are shocked when Victor tells them to take the boxes to the room where he’s staying at. Say what now? Yuuri didn’t notice the fact that he had said this out loud and that Minako had said it at the same time because his thoughts were buffering on the fact that Victor just ask him to put his things to the room where he’s going to stay.

Victor’s going to stay.

In Yuuri’s house.

With Yuuri.

_Oh my poor heart._

It takes Yuuri two whole hours to clean up the banquet room and to move all twenty boxes including five luggages in the room. He’s exhausted by the time he sets down the last box and his back hurt from all the lifting and crouching he’s done for the night.

“Oh what an adorable tiny room!” Victor comments, stretching his arms before looking at the rest of his four-cornered banquet room now turned guest room.

“Sorry. It’s not much, but it’s all we have available.” Yuuri replies, looking up at the standing Russian.

“I’ll make it work, don’t you worry!” Victor winks at him.

Oh that wink. Yuuri has read tons of articles that detailed the effect of that gesture from the five-time champion. This includes but is not limited to: extensive nosebleed, squeals and hyperventilation. Yuuri’s quite content he was able to keep it together.

Victor tells him that they would defer his coaching fees until Yuuri has won something. “Now then...” he adds, kneeling to Yuuri’s eye level. “I want to know everything about you, Yuuri”

Yuuri’s eyes widen because one of Victor’s hand had somehow made its way to Yuuri’s chin. Oh god he’s touching me. I can rest in peace.

“What kind of rink do you skate at, or what hobbies do you like? If there’s a girl you like...” Victor doesn’t continue that last part and Yuuri is too busy staring at incredibly alluring eyes to wonder why. “A relationship like this should be built on trust, don’t you think?”

Yuuri faintly feels Victor’s other hand scrape down his wrist and he’s snapped back to reality that his face is merely five fucking inches away from his long-time idol. If the squeak he made was heard all the way to the bathhouse’s entrance, no one is allowed to blame him. His face was five fucking inches away from Victor my-gold-medals-are-more-than-the-number-of-times-you’ve-had-sex Nikiforov.

“What’s wrong, why’d you run away?”

“Ugh – I had a leg cramp!”

I still can’t handle being close to him. Yuuri was an introvert, of course he’s not used to affectionate gestures. Still, he’d seen the man’s naked fucking perfect body. He should really get used to it.

That night, Victor insists on a slumber party. He’s been knocking on Yuuri’s door for a minute now reasoning that it was the perfect way for them to know more about each other.

“Nooo!” he yells, body pressed to the door. His eyes scans his own room and he’s frightened at the sight of his numerous Victor posters plastered at every wall surface of his room. He hastily, but very carefully, removes each one of them.

“Okay. But if you’re ever lonely, I can sleep with you any time!” Victor calls from the other side of his bedroom door.

Seriously, does this man know what he’s saying?! Yuuri considers the possibility that his long time idol is actually a pervert. And that’s probably a part of why he’s so popular. Didn’t people like badass-charming-sexy-alluring individuals to cater to their fantasy?

He sighs in relief when he hears the soft pad of feet growing fainter by the second. That indicates that Victor has given up and returned to his room.

Thank merciful God.

Suffice to say, Yuuri couldn’t sleep that night. He realized that his pounding heart is caused by the happiness of being near Victor. He thought about today’s events – constantly hoping to retain every bit of second that happened this day. Victor eating his favorite dish, Victor looking ecstatic to stay in the next room, Victor wanting to be his coach, Victor soaking in the baths and oh- Victor naked.

Oh yes. Yuuri Katsuki has seen Victor Nikiforov’s baby maker... and what a dangler it is. His thoughts ran back to that image. If Victor was five inches soft would that stand to a full nine inch erection?

Yuuri’s own dick twitched in interest and his hand unconsciously dips beneath his boxers to touch it. He wasn’t really foreign to masturbation. He had been a teen once, a very curious teen. In fact, he was in the same room when he jerked off during his hormone-driven days. The first time he’d touched himself, his eyes snapped open to look at one of Victor’s poster a second before he came. Since then, Yuuri would try to shut his eyes when he knew he was about to cum. And yet, his thoughts would always, **always** have an image of the silver-haired man.

Tonight, however, was different. He should be allowed to do this right? Oh god that cock was perfect. Yuuri would do anything to have that cock in his mouth. He would probably not be able to put everything in his mouth at once but he’d learn. He’d do it for Victor – anything to pleasure Victor.

It wasn’t long before Yuuri felt the impending feel of release. This time, he doesn’t shut his eyes. It remains open and fixed to the last picture of Victor that he didn’t take down. It was a photo frame of Victor on his desk table. Yuuri wouldn’t hide it like the posters that now stowed in his closet but he would have to shift it a little bit to back-face the door. So when Victor comes in unannounced, Yuuri would have the time to flip the photograph down before Victor could completely step into his room.

He comes with a shudder. Yuuri uses his other hand to further pull down his boxers so it wouldn’t get caught by the white liquid splattered over his abdomen. He then reaches back to the desk table to grab some tissues and wipe himself clean.

Yuuri Katsuki is going to remember this day. You can bet your ass he will.

 

 

\--X

 

Honestly, Yuuri didn’t expect Victor to be a morning person. He seemed like the care-free guy who’d rather laze in bed or read books with a dog resting comfortably on his lap. Yuuri guessed he usually is that kind of person but when it came to skating, Victor transforms into a disciplined athlete. He had designed an exercise regime for Yuuri to lose weight starting with a morning jog to the local skating rink.

Victor’s rule was: Yuuri wasn’t allowed to step foot on the ice rink until his weight has gone back to last year’s grand prix final.

So now Yuuri has to stand on the sides to watch Victor skate. Victor seemed to be skating to one of his programs and Yuuri immediately recognizes it. Stammi Vicino. Yuuri wonders if the reason Victor’s practicing this routine right now was to show Yuuri how he should’ve done it. Victor saw his video, everyone did, and probably criticized some of his moves so he’s silently showing off how Yuuri should’ve done it.

Nevertheless, Yuuri is mesmerized by Victor’s every move. Victor moves to an arabesque position, his legs forming a ninety-degree angle and Yuuri zeroes on Victor’s crotch. How the hell was Victor able to hide **that**? He’s probably wearing a crazy tight underwear. Victor glides to the other side of the rink and Yuuri sees Victor’s angle from the side. Oh, it’s unnoticeable because of his posture.

Victor carries himself like a king – head high, arms squared, chest out and ass back. His posture did wonders for his behind so when Yuuri looked into videos of Victor, the focus would always be on his ass and not his crotch. However, now that Yuuri’s seen it all, Yuuri has found a much better part of Victor worth salivating.

When Victor skates, Yuuri usually goes to the weights room for sit ups. He had just finished the set so he’s allowed to watch Victor skate. Seeing Victor on the ice made Yuuri wish he could be there with him. He wishes he could stand on the same ice as Victor, skating with him.

“Remember, you’re not setting foot in this rink until you’ve dropped some weight, little piggy!” Victor smiles innocently at him.

Victor must have noticed his longing look to get back to the ice and attempted to cheer him up. He’s not exactly awesome in the pep department, is he?

 

 

\--X

 

It’s day three of Yuuri’s body-conditioning regime and Yuuri’s doing lateral leg push-offs on the bench overlooking Hasetsu sea. Victor’s on the other side of the bench and Makka-chin’s laid down on the ground nearby.

“So do you have feelings for Minako?” Victor asks.

“Huh?! No-no way!” Yuuri stammers. Admittedly, Yuuri should have already been used to Victor’s daily personal questions. He’s been doing that since day one in hopes of as Yuuri quotes ‘getting to know each other’. Although, Yuuri’s an introvert so he’s not used to starting conversations or even firing back questions. Still, Yuuri wonders how Victor has concluded that he has feelings for Minako-sensei of all people. The woman was older than his mother, for god’s sake! If anything, the closest person he’d have some sort of feelings for was already sitting in front of him.

Yuuri blushes. There was no way he was going to confess that he has adored the Russian figure skater since he was twelve.

“Do you have a lover now?” Victor pushes.

“No...”

“What about ex-lovers?”

“I’d rather not talk about it - ”

“Then let’s talk about me! Let’s see, my first lover was-”

“Stoop!” Yuuri really didn’t want to know about it. His heart ached at the thought of his childhood crush’s past lovers. There were articles that popped up about Victor’s love life from time to time, but Victor never confirmed any of them. No doubt Yuuri’s an insignificant human being compared to those people. They’re probably just as gorgeous as Victor. Wait-crush?! Am I infatuated by him? Sure, Yuuri has been thinking about Victor more often these days and he’s jerked off intentionally to the thought of sucking Victor’s cock **once** but can he consider this as something more than a fan’s hope or a mere stress-relief?

Day three of Yuuri’s body-conditional regime left him confused; and since he couldn’t skate to get his mind off of things, he poured his energy to his work out. He even added running after dinner by the seaside so that when he’s done, it’s physically impossible for him to do or think of anything else but sleep.

 

 

\--X

 

Yuri Plisetsky arrives in day seven, a week since he started his body-conditioning routine.

Yuuri should be happy that Victor would finally give him permission to skate, and yet he gets kicked to the back by an angry blonde Russian, and stepped on by the same angry blonde Russian.

Yuuri finds out that Victor promised Yuri Plisetsky a choreography worthy of his senior debut. There shouldn’t be any issue there. Victor’s a genius, he probably already has one. But then the young skater mentioned that he was going to bring Victor back to Russia as his coach. Yuuri wanted to weep. Who was he kidding? Of course someone as perfect as Victor should coach someone as beautiful as the dubbed ‘Russian Fairy’. Yuuri was nothing.

“Okay, I got it!” Victor beams.

Both Yuris wait in anticipation.

“I’m going to choreograph programs for both of you to the same music”

“HAH?!” Yuri snarls. “The same music as this guy?!”

“What?” Yuuri shrieks. “Choreograph for both of us?!”

“Now, don’t worry boys. This piece has two different arrangements.” Victor assures them, then proceeds to explain that he had been pondering over which of the two arrangements should be used for his next performance. Instead, he’ll let them use it and will announce the arrangements in one week.

And then, as expected of Victor, he surprises Yuuri with a challenge.

“The two of you will compete to see which one could surprise the audience more!” He explains.

Of course, Yuuri was adamant to agreeing but it seemed like the Russian Yuri had already accepted the challenge and the triplets appeared out of nowhere suddenly demanding to make the competition a big spectacle. This was probably one of their crazy ideas to either earn money or boast to their other skating otaku friends or most likely, both.

That night, Yuuri’s finally allowed to skate so he leaves the house and spends a good four hours on the rink. His thoughts were wondering again. What exactly is his feelings for Victor? He doesn’t want him to go, that’s for sure. But why? Is it simply adoration of a fan to his idol? Can it be something more? Will Victor allow it be something more?

Day 7 passed and Yuuri is still confused.

 

 

\--X

 

Victor introduces them the arrangements before assigning them.

“We will start by listening to the music” he says, clicking on the remote’s speaker.

The notes of the first song plays. “This piece has two parts, each with different arrangements. The titles of it are On love: Eros and Agape.”

He then asks them a question, “Have you ever spent so much time thinking about love?”

“Nyet” Yuri answers

Yuuri also shakes his head in denial.

Victor asks them how the song makes them feel.

“It has a very pure, innocent sound to it. Like someone who hasn’t experienced love yet”, Yuuri answers.

“Whatever. I think it sucks.” Yurio retorted.  “This innocence crap makes me want to puke. BLEH.”

“Okay”, Victor nods. He pressed another button and a different song flowed through the speakers. The notes sounded like a completely different song, contrary to Victor’s claim that this was only another part of the whole song.

“I call dibs! This is the one I want to skate to!” Yurio claims, flashing a glare at Yuuri.

“The first arrangement is On love: Agape, the theme is unconditional love. This is On love: Eros, the theme of it is sexual love. I’m going to have the two of you skate to these opposing themes.”

And then Victor announces the arrangement assignments: Yuuri gets eros and Yurio (the nickname was created by his sister the night Yurio arrived in Hasetsu) gets Agape. He later explains that as his students, they should strive to surprise his audience much like how Victor surprises his.

Yuuri is morified. How was he going to skate to sexual love? He was a 23-year old virgin with the sexual experience that only go as far as masturbation.

Yurio seemed against it as well but he eventually relents, justifying that he had no choice because his senior debut depends on it. He then demands that if he wins, Victor will do as he says and return with him back to Russia.

Victor agrees, much to Yuuri’s dishearten. “What about you, Yuuri? What do you want from me?”

Yuuri has been confused by a lot of Victor’s actions and by all things related to Victor since he came to Hasetsu, but he’s sure of one thing. “I want to keep winning and to keep eating pork cutlet bowls. So I’ll skate to eros, and I’ll give it all the eros I got!”

Victor seemed to like his answer. He nods at both of them and ushers them out of the rink so he could demonstrate the choreography. He started with on love: agape. Oh man, this is a tough routine. Victor can pull it off beautifully, but can Yurio pull it? It looks like he could, based from his response when Victor asked what he thought of it.

“This one’s for you, Yuuri so pay close attention”

Yuuri’s not sure why Victor asked him to pay so much attention to his eros routine when he didn’t even need to remind Yurio of it. Also, it’s not like Yuuri has ever taken his eyes off him. He’s been trying to follow Victor’s footsteps since he was twelve. The music plays and Yuuri’s heart threatened to rip out from his chest when Victor snaps his head to smirk at them. He would have had the same reaction as Yuuko’s if he didn’t shift his attention to Victor’s footwork.

Yes, like sex on ice. There’s so much eros in this routine I think it might impregnate me.

Speaking off...Yuuri’s eyes unconsciously shifts to Victor’s pants again. With a weapon like that, Victor could probably impregnate even the most barren human. If he impregnates me, that means that thing will go through there...

That night, Yuuri dreams of a soft Russian voice whispering from behind him. “I’ll let you experience pleasure layered upon pleasure until you’re drowning in ecstasy, Yuuri. I’ll give you so much eros, I’ll knock you up.” A finger enters him in his dream. It’s quickly followed by two more until the three fingers begin to move erratically in and out of him.

“Please”, Yuuri pleads in his dream. A chuckle was the only response he got from the person behind him before the fingers were pulled out.

Yuuri woke up, sticky and panting. He groans, reaching for the tissues on his bedside table before wiping himself and removing his soiled boxers. He’s pulling another pair just as soon.

Yuuri swears to forget ever having that dream.

 

 

\--X

 

Yuuri and Yurio practiced their routine. Yurio seemed to be having a hard time finding his agape and Yuuri wasn’t faring any better. He didn’t know what eros is to him either.

At first, Yuuri compared eros to katsudon. Which was the stupidest, worst thought to ever come out of his mouth. He ran as fast as he can to the skating rink that night. Luckily, Makka-chin was all too happy to go for a nightly run and Yuuri eventually got over the fact that he said something so embarrassing he thought he should drop dead then and there.

A few days past and Yurio had finally found his agape. On the other hand, Yuuri still pictured katsudon as his eros. Victor mentioned that Yurio was ready for the next level of Agape and Yuuri wondered if there was a next level of Eros for him too.

Yuuri knew that the pork cutlet bowl eros was not enough to beat Yurio. He has been thinking about it as long as Yurio had but it definitely took him longer. Until finally, the night before the Onsen On Ice competition, he finally found his eros.

As happy as he was in finding his eros, he’s still not able to get over his anxiety. That’s right, if Yurio wins, Victor will return to Russia.

“Yuuri, are you ready?”

Yuuri squeaks at seeing Victor. “Yes, I’m ready. I’m going to skate with everything I have out here today. I’m going to be the tastiest pork cutlet bowl ever” He hugs Victor. “You’ll watch won’t you?”

“Of course. I love katsudon.”

Just like that, Victor has washed away all his anxiety. Yuuri decides that he’s going to show Victor a different katsudon. He’ll be the katsudon that seduces men to him. A katsudon desired by a playboy. A katsudon worthy of being eaten by someone like Victor Nikiforov. He remembers his dream. The one he promised to forget but would always stay at the back of his mind, haunting him. He thinks of the Russian voice behind him. A tongue traveling to his neck from his shoulder blades. Hands roaming his chest, his hips, his ass.

He has captured the playboy.

“Vkusno...” The playboy in his mind whispers after sucking on Yuuri’s neck. The playboy loves his taste, the playboy salivates at Yuuri. The playboy gives him pleasure and he wants more, but Yuuri decides he has had enough. He discards the playboy, and moves on to the next town to find his next conquest.

If Yuuri’s eyes wandered to where Victor stood in the stands a few times during his performance, Yuuri reasons that he wanted to be the tastiest pork cutlet bowl no one, not even Victor can resist.

Yuuri won the Onsen on Ice competition and he’s earned a coach as a reward. But said coach acted oddly after that performance. Victor hugged him when he finished his performance but Yuuri felt confident after his eros routine, so he didn’t shy away from the uncommon gesture. When Yuuri was asked to give a few words to the audience, Yuuri stutters at first. Yet there lay a comforting hand on Yuuri’s arm, and an overwhelming sense of pride rushes to Yuuri. Victor had chosen him. Against the beautiful Russian Fairy.

“This was the beginning. With Victor, I hope to win the Grand Prix Final. Thank you all for your continued support!” Yuuri’s never felt this much confidence. This was obviously due to the presence next to him and the supportive hand that radiated certainty and assurance. _Victor_..., he thought. _Victor’s going to be my coach!_

 

 

\--X

 

Since then, Yuuri has become painfully conscious of Victor’s advances. And it’s not as if this was all in Yuuri’s head. Since his eros performance, Victor’s been constantly finding ways to get close to Yuuri. Take tonight for example...

“Yuuri, I’ve been thinking...”

Yuuri hears Victor say from the other side of the baths. Yes, tonight’s a perfect example of one of Victor’s advances. The pervert Russian living legend insisted that they start taking their baths together. He claims it was an excellent way to get to know each other. Plus he might have bribed Yuuri a massage if he’s able to land his more difficult jumps during their practice sessions.

“I wonder if three quads in your program is too many”, Victor continues.

Yuuri’s head snaps back to Victor’s voice so fast he swears he heard a crack. And oh shit. Yuuri regrets doing that so much and he immediately looks away from the sight. Because **damnit** Victor fucking Nikiforov was stretching behind him. Oh did Yuuri mention he was so very naked and his legs were split perfectly that Yuuri’s eyes zeroed in on his very intimidating soft cock resting on the floor tiles? Oh boy. Yuuri was going to have another wild fantasy tonight.

“But why? If I want to win the Grand Prix Final, I need to keep those jumps, right?” He argues to Victor’s statement, hands on either side of his head to keep himself from looking back at that sight. That magnificent view of Victor’s oh so perfect body and his oh so perfect genital.

“Not true. You can get by with just one quad, just get a perfect score in the program components and you’re good to go!” Victor counterclaims.

Yuuri is sure Victor is smiling innocently at him from behind. He could just imagine it. And he really wants to look back but the sight might be too much for his undoubtedly fragile heart.

But back to what Victor had just said, Yuuri still doubts he’d be able to win with just one quad in his program. However, maybe Victor’s right on this one and Yuuri’s considering the thought of this especially when he factors in the fact that he gets nervous during competitions and tends to flub his jumps. Luckily, he’s able to make up for it through his presentation scores.

But it’s not always enough. I need to do more. I’ll never win this way. Something has to change.

“Yuuri, do you know why I’m here? Why I decided to be your coach?” Victor said, his voice suddenly way too close for Yuuri’s already running thoughts. Yuuri looks up and oh cock-I mean fuck.

Victor’s reaching down to him, his hands softly clamping around Yuuri’s own.

“I was drawn to you because of the way you move to the music, like the song’s already inside you and you’re using your body to release it” Victor purrs, his ocean-blue eyes gazing down at Yuuri and Yuuri can’t help but be drawn to them. Yuuri thinks he’s probably blushing right now from the compliments he’s hearing from Victor. Victor pulls him up from the water saying that he was the only one capable of creating a high-difficulty program that would maximize Yuuri’s potential. Then Victor’s hand travels past his legs and down to his knees before resting on his ankles. Please don’t get hard, please don’t get hard, Yuuri’s throught drifted to this mantra as Victor lifts one of Yuuri’s legs and brings up in the air. The Russian shifts to move behind him, one hand still grasping Yuuri’s right ankle and the other on Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri stands on his left foot and his left arm unconsciously raises to complete the arabesque.

“Now we’re moving over to the free program. And I think you should compose this yourself.”

Huh-what?!, Yuuri thinks and Victor shifts his leg slightly upwards and Yuuri almost faints when his hip very lightly brushes Victor’s private part.

“But my coach has always chosen the music for me, I wouldn’t know where to start-” Yuuri doesn’t finish because Victor lifts his leg higher and the stretch is a little too much for Yuuri’s already practice-worn, heavily tired out muscles.

“It’s more fun to do it yourself, you can really personalize it.”

“That seriously hurts! And I’m just used to my coach doing it”

“Who was your last coach again?”

The conversation drops because they noticed a few pairs of eyes looking at them. Yuuri understands how this might have looked from an outsider’s perspective. Two naked men alone and one of them is moaning in pain. Admittedly, Yuuri wouldn’t mind if he moaned from another kind of pain caused by Victor. Not the hardcore kind but Yuuri read somewhere that gay sex usually hurt at first but the pleasure that came after was really worth it. At least, that’s what it said from one of the Cosmo magazines Yuuri came across when he was still in Detroit. He’s not sure if Phichit intentionally left it lying open to that page but that sounded like something Phichit would accomplish after Yuuri had gushed out the other night regarding the latest video Victor Nikiforov.

They changed back to their clothes and Yuuri is forced by Victor to call his coach. Yuuri profusely apologizes to Coach Celestino about his attitude in last year’s Grand Prix Finals and promises him that he’d make him proud this time. Yuuri felt a lot better after saying that.

And then Victor’s on him. Again. This was exhibit number two of Victor’s subtle advances.

“Yuuri, why didn’t you tell me about this music? I’m your coach aren’t I?”

Yuuri gulps. Victor has him kind of trapped, his face mere inches from Yuuri. If Yuuri tilts any further back, he’s sure he’d fall off the bench. “I should have. I’m sorry”, he lamely answers.

Victor doesn’t pull back, much to Yuuri’s dismay. Or was it delight? He puts one hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and demands to hear the song.

Yuuri talks to Phichit that night, asking if he remembered the conservatory student who composed his music back then. Yuuri doesn’t remember much about her but he needs to reach out to her to get the sample music again.

“So how’s Victor?” A smirking, eye-brows wiggling Phichit asks him after he promises to track her down for Yuuri.

“He’s – well...” Yuuri isn’t sure what’s the right word. “He’s Victor Nikiforv but so much more”

“Really?” Phichit questions, eyes widening in interest. “Is he that hot? Does he really deserve the number one spot from **Russia’s Top 50 Most Handsome Men** or the title of top choice for **Men I Want to Fuck Me According to Men** ”

Yuuri blushes at this because YES, he deserves those and probably the whole world bowing at his feet.

“You’ve seen him naked, haven’t you?”

Yuuri squeaks.

“HAHA! I knew it!”

“I haven’t even said anything!”

“Oh Yuuri, I’ve known you for three years. I know that look you get when you’re thinking about Victor. So tell me, was he up to your expectations?”

“He’s met them, alright. He’s met them and exceeded them by far” Yuuri feels warm now. Yup, his thoughts are going back to Victor’s you-know-what.

Phichit shrieks from the screen. “OMG. Spill everything!”

“Well... I don’t want to give away too much but he’s definitely gifted in that department, if you know what I mean”

They talk for hours and Yuuri feels light-hearted at finally having someone to talk to about Victor, someone who understands him... as a fan.

 

 

\--X

 

It’s a few days later when Yuuri’s fairytale shatters and he’s pulled back to reality by his flaws.

He had just snapped back at Victor.

In Yuuri’s defense, he’s been stressed and confused. He’s not getting his jumps right because his thoughts would always drift to Victor. So when Victor asks him to picture an imaginary girlfriend, he just wanted to pull his hair out.

“WHAT?!” I’ve been thinking about you for the past eleven years and you want me to think about some girl?

He regrets it the moment he realizes what he’s done and he shuts off. By this time, Yuuri knows when to expect Victor’s advances and he easily dodges them finding excuses like “I’m okay, thanks” when Victor invites him to get food together and “I’m going to sleep” when Victor asks if they wanted to soak in the hot springs together.

He drowns in the feeling of guilt for two days, going as far as opting to stay in bed instead of to practice until finally, Victor barges in his room.

“Let’s skip practice today. We can go down to the ocean” Victor’s smile is so bright, Yuuri has no choice but to concede.

They talk about seagulls in the beach. Victor sitting next to him made Yuuri calm for some reason. So Yuuri opened up. He tells Victor about the girl that tried to get close to him but he’d reflexively shoved her away.

“Wow. Why would you do that?” Victor asks.

“It felt like she was trying to say I’m weak or something. She was trudging on a feeling she didn’t have the right to and I didn’t like it. My family never treated me as a weakling and they helped me without ever making me feel weak.”

“You aren’t a weak person, Yuuri. Nobody who knows you would ever think that”

Something warm filled Yuuri’s chest when Victor said this. As to what exactly, Yuuri’s not exactly sure. And then Victor asks him a strange question.

“Will you tell me, what is it you want me to be to you? A father figure?”

Yuuri closes his eyes. Can he imagine Victor like his dad? “No.”

“A brother? Or just a friend?”

Yuuri ponders again at these words.

“So then your lover” Victor adds, “I’ll try best.”

He sprung up a good two feet above the sand. That height would’ve done wonders for his jumps. “No! All I want is for you to be who you are.” He’s always looked up to Victor and Yuuri is afraid of how Victor would react to finding out Yuuri’s short comings. He just really wants Victor to be proud of him. In the end, he promises to make it up to Victor by skating his best.

“Good. But I won’t let you off easy. That’s my way of showing my love”

There was something different with Victor’s smile that time. It was so raw, like a very hidden part of Victor had just been shown to Yuuri.

When I open up, he meets me halfway.

That night, Yuuri decides to open up again. He smiles in delight when he finds out Ketty Abelashvili, the conservatory girl, agrees to rewrite the song. He tells Victor and asks him to teach him all the jumps he knows while they wait for her response.

He gets the demo song a few days later and he’s so elated he rushes into Victor’s bed, stepping on poor Makka-chin’s tail. He quickly rushes an apology for that.

Victor gives his nod of approval and it’s only then, Yuuri realizes that he’s in front of a naked Victor, again.

Yuuri shyly goes back to his room, apologizing for waking Victor in the middle of the night and forcing his eyes not to travel down to that broad chest and pink nipples. He thinks about a lot of things when he goes to bed. Mostly, to their conversation in the beach. How could Victor even suggest they become lovers? Was he thinking that? And what exactly is love in the first place? He loves his family and friends. Does he love Victor in the same way? Or is it more? Should he even dare to think more?

That night, Yuuri’s even more confused, but at least he’s found a theme for his free skate.

“Did you change the musical theme?” Victor asks him the next day when they were composing his free skate program.

“Yeah, I did”

“So what is it?”

“I’ve decided... the piece’s theme is on my love” he tells Victor with as much resolve as he can.

“I think that’s a perfect choice. Well done!”

Again, Yuuri’s heart embraces the commendation. It thumps loudly in Yuuri’s chest and he blushes at this.

Why? What is this feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got this out. Feel free to smash the kudos button or even better, leave me a comment to let me know your thoughts or if there are any errors you want me to fix.
> 
> EDIT: I found the wonderful [kawalie](http://kawalie.tumblr.com/) to beta for this fic so I'm updating the chapter with her fixes. Good news everyone, Chapter 2 is coming up in a few days! I'm planning to post it on Saturday/Sunday so everyone please stay tuned!
> 
> I also have a [Basketball AU](https://kittyfujoshi.tumblr.com/tagged/basketball-au) I'm working on during my spare time. So for anyone who's interested, hit me up on possible plot lines for the AU!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://kittyfujoshi.tumblr.com/) for updates!


	2. Don't Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's anxiety hits and he's terribly oblivious to (and refuses to believe of) Victor's flirtations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. My beta was sick since Sunday so this is completely unbeta-ed. I'm sorry for any mistakes. I'd like to thank all those who commented, bookmarked, and kudos'ed this fic. They have encouraged me to continue writing and I hope they continue to pour in.
> 
> Warning: brace yourselves for a roller coaster of emotions.

They find out the assignments of the Grand Prix events a few days after, with everyone gathered in the guest dining area including the Nishigori family as well as Minako. Takeshi Nishigori, who used to bully Yuuri when they were little but was actually one of Yuuri’s closest friends, jokingly teased him about how the people will react when he shows up with Victor as his coach. Suddenly, his anxiety comes back to greet him like an unwelcomed guest, barging through the front door and marching right into Yuuri's face.

_All his fans’ll hate me._

Honestly, Yuuri’s been having all these mixed feelings of having Victor as his coach. One moment, he’s preening at all the encouragement he’s receiving from Victor and the next he’s being struck down by lighting in the form of Victor’s rather harsh criticisms. The thought of failing Victor guilts him to his very core, it hits Yuuri with a pang of disappointment every time.

At Takeshi’s words, Victor places a comforting arm to his shoulder and somehow, Yuuri’s feeling considerably lighter. He doesn’t push this arm away like the girl in his college days. He’s not sure why. Was it because he has opened up to Victor and now there’s a stronger connection that he’s feeling between them? Victor’s advances probably played a major part in this. He’s more comfortable with him now – it’s like he’s used to constantly having Victor around him.

Having Victor as a coach feels weird to Yuuri. It doesn’t seem right at all. Having Victor be as **_Victor_** , on the other hand, feels absolutely perfect. Yuuri can’t really pinpoint the exact difference, but it is there, in an infinite space Yuuri can’t describe.

 

 

\--X

 

Yuuri’s anxiety comes back to haunt him during the Chugoku, Shikoku and Kyushu Championship. It’s not like that’s a surprise to anyone. He flunked last year’s Japanese Championship because he was mentally weak. Also, it doesn’t help his case when he unluckily picked the first spot to perform. Yuuri personally likes performing in the middle because it was the safest spot – not the first one where the judges’ expectations were high and not the last one where he could be compared to all the other skaters that had already performed.

 _My goal is the Grand Prix Final. I can’t get nervous now,_ Yuuri repeats this like a mantra desperately hoping his thought translates enough for his body to follow.

The six minute warm up ends all too soon, much to Yuuri’s chagrin and Yuuri skates back to the sides where Victor’s staying. He grasps his water tumbler with barely contained trembling hands to hydrate when he notices Victor’s unusual expression.

 _Why does he look so upset?_ He wonders, taking a sip of his water while averting his eyes.

“Yuuri, I want you to turn around”

“Huh?”

“I said turn around,” Victor orders.

Yuuri can’t help but follow when Victor talks like this. A slight shiver runs down his spine at the sound of Victor’s command.

“Okay. Like this?” He turns, shoulders stiff.

All of a sudden, strong arms are wrapped around his chest and his shoulders are pulled slightly back so he could feel Victor’s chest pressed behind him. Yuuri can’t help but flush and let out a sharp intake of breath. The gesture was welcomed surprise, Yuuri’s back felt warm and his heart began to beat erratically.

“V-Victor...?” He stutters. Because really, for all the possible time Victor decides to initiate a public display of affection, it’s at a place full of people, with cameras, broadcasting on national tv!

“Seduce me with everything you have” Victor sultry whispers to his ear. “If your performance can enthrow me, then you can bring the whole audience to their knees.”

 _Right._ Yuuri has never admitted it to himself but the first time he danced Eros, he had pictured seducing Victor. If he was successful in seducing the most handsome man in all of Russia and most probably the world, he can seduce the audience. A sudden rush of confidence surges through Yuuri’s veins. If Victor believed in him so much, then why can’t he?

The sharp memory of what Victor had said to him in practice flashes in Yuuri’s thoughts.  **_Now, dance more like you’re trying to seduce me_** , was what Victor had said to him in practice.

_And seduced you shall be._

Yuuri moves on to the step sequence and dances to seduce Victor. He knows that Victor always liked the way he danced. He’s not gonna disappoint him, not now and hopefully, never.

When Yuuri finished his short program, he knew Victor wasn’t too impressed. He focused too much on landing his jumps and he ended up not nailing most of them. His step sequence was the only part of his short program that he’d managed to execute perfectly.

Victor called him sloppy.

Yet, for some reason, this encouraged Yuuri even more. When Victor chided him to motivate others in order to motivate himself, he thought of how Victor had motivated him to skate. He remembers how he adored Victor when he was young. Now, he just wants to meet Victor’s expectations.

He goes into the free skate with a renewed energy and mindset. _I can do this and I can prove it to Victor and this audience,_ he thinks as he stretches to keep his muscles warmed up.

Yuuri walks over to Victor and removes his jacket before handing it to the Russian.

“Good. I think this costume was the right choice. You look absolutely stunning in it” Victor comments, eyes shifting head-to-toe on Yuuri’s frame. Yuuri notes that it had lingered a little longer on his waist where the mesh fabric allowed him to see through Yuuri’s beige leotard underneath it. One of Victor’s hand travels to his hair, pushing a couple of loose strands back behind his ear.

Yuuri lets himself be pampered. This was one of Victor’s hot and cold behavior. He had chided Yuuri just a few minutes ago but now he’s treating Yuuri with all the gentleness he could possibly offer.

“Your lips are chapped” Victor remarks, reaching within his coat pocket and producing a container of lip balm. He swipes a thin layer of the product and applies it to Yuuri’s lips. If Yuuri wasn’t as focused as he was right now, he would’ve combusted from the fact that he had just had an indirect kiss from Victor fucking Nikiforov. Alas, there was a time for that – preferably when he’s alone.

Victor reaches out to hug him afterward, the hand on his neck staying a little longer than necessary for someone with a status of merely a coach.

 _Huh_ , Yuuri thinks, _Victor’s actions seem more forward than the usual today_. Yuuri considers that this might be due to his Eros performance a while ago, but he can’t be too sure. He’s not that desirable, no matter how much he wants to be.

Needless to say, Yuuri decides he likes this feeling. He wants Victor to focus on him and he wants the audience’s eyes to stay glued to his performance. He hugs back Victor, willing his feelings to reach the other man.

It’s then that Yuuri decides to stick with performing three quads. He understands it’s going to be difficult but he wants to see the look of surprise on Victor’s face when he realizes this.

_All my life, Victor’s never ceased to surprise me. So, even if it’s just this, I want to be able to surprise him for a change._

Yuuri is a stubborn person and people know of it. That’s something Victor needs to learn about him.

So for his last jump, he performs a quad toe loop instead of a triple. He knocks his head against the barrier as a result, consequently earning a nosebleed and a mild headache by the end of his performance.

He looks to Victor from the sides, unsure of how the Russian figure skating champion would react. Yes, he wanted to surprise Victor but it didn’t really go as he had planned because he wasn’t able to nail most of his jumps. Admittedly, it played a lot better in Yuuri’s mind than what had transpired.

He stiffens when he sees Victor’s disappointed reaction. _Oh no._ But then, Victor looks up to him and extends his arms for an embrace. Yuuri’s eyes widens at first before he’s unable to stop the sudden wetness pooling at his eyelids.

_Victor’s not mad._

At this realization, he skates towards him, almost tripping and jumps to embrace him.

Victor, that damn naturally charming but childish man, moves away in time before their bodies collide. “Watch the nosebleed,” he says smirking evilly.

Yuuri suspects this as Victor’s payback for Yuuri’s disobedience. If there’s one thing he’s learned about Victor for the past few weeks since he became Yuuri’s coach, it was that Victor was a cuddle whore. The guy spends an insanely amount of time and effort trying to get Yuuri to hug him back. So yes, Victor’s probably doing this on purpose to frustrate Yuuri.

He looks back to Victor and sees him offer the Makka-chin tissue holder out to him. Yuuri gets a piece and stuffs them to his nostrils to stop the nosebleed.

Victor eventually relents and hugs him after, when they’ve announced that he has won. He squeezes Yuuri so tight, cheeks rubbing against Yuuri’s own and Yuuri indulges him. He’ll accept this Victor anytime against the Victor who walked out on him because he had ignored Minami’s declaration of admiration.

That had hurt so much. He never wants to see Victor’s back facing him. In fact, he doesn’t even want Victor to ever leave him. That train of thought brought a sharp sting of pain to his heart. He had concluded a few weeks before that he wants to continue skating with Victor by his side. Perhaps, he can call this love, in some way. Victor’s cared enough for him to cheer and motivate him to skate. And this was enough to earn Yuuri’s trust, maybe something deeper.

Later at the press conference, he gathers up the courage to announce his theme of love. He’s different now because he has discovered the love of his family, his friends, of Victor. All these people and many more who’ve done nothing but support him. That was the love he had found. “This love isn’t something as clear cut as romantic love,” Yuuri defends in the conference. “It’s an abstract feeling that encompasses my relationships with Victor, my family, and my hometown. I finally realize I’m surrounded by love everyday”. He squares his shoulders and holds his head high. “For the first time there’s somebody I want to hold on to, and that person is Victor. I don’t have a name for this emotion but I’ve decided to call it love. It’s changed me, I’m stronger now and I’ll prove it at the Grand Prix Final with a gold medal!”

 

 

\--X

 

Yuuri comes home from the press conference to the awaiting arms of one Victor Nikiforov. One very happy, very unusually happy, Victor Nikiforov.

“Yuuri!” Victor greets at the doorstep, heart-shaped smile painted on his face.

“Hey, Victor,” Yuuri greets back. The sight of a happy Victor always brought contentment to his heart. And then he remembers his declaration at the press conference. He blushes.

Victor, that damn perfect being, of course notices.

“What’s wrong Yuuri, you have a cold?”

“U-um no! I’m just...” Yuuri looks away for a second, unsure of how to start the subject. He then remembers that his interview was in Japanese. This meant that there was a likely chance Victor didn’t understand most of it. “So um, did you watch my interview a while ago?”

“Oh yes, I’m so proud of you Yuuri” Victor smiles innocently at him

Yuuri’s eyes widened, “You understood what I said?!”

“Not really” Victor pouts

Yuuri sighs in relief.

“But Mari-chan and Yuuko-chan explained most of it. I gotta say Yuuri, that’s some declaration you’ve made there. So now you better be ready because we’re going to train even harder!” Victor exclaims, raising both of Yuuri’s arms to mock a winning pose. “You want to win gold in this year’s Grand Prix Final, don’t you?”

And then Yuuri remembers the last part of his interview. Mari-neechan must have skipped the ‘love’ when they explained it to Victor and focused on Yuuri’s bold declaration of winning gold. _That’s fine,_ Yuuri thinks. Honestly, Yuuri isn’t a hundred percent sure yet of that part, probably not even fifty-fifty. He’s said as much in the interview.

“Yeah, you’re right” He smiles at Victor.

Victor pauses at this and looks into Yuuri’s eyes. Yuuri’s unsure what to make of it. Was that confusion, surprise, or something else entirely beneath Victor’s eyes? Either way, it quickly disappears as Victor’s eyelids shut closed before he launched himself at Yuuri. “That’s what I want to hear from my best student!”

Yuuri doesn’t comment that he’s Victor’s **_only_ ** student. He laughs it off and pats the older man’s back.

 

 

\--X

 

It’s an early Thursday morning when they find themselves at the entrance of the bathhouse, luggage in tow.

“You’ll be a good doggy while I’m gone okay?” Victor squeezes Makka-chin’s cheeks. The brown poodle whines when Victor pulls his hands back only to bring it around again to hug the dog.

“Come on, Victor. We’ll miss the flight if we don’t get moving!” Yuuri sighs at the door.

They get to the airport in time for the check-in.

“It’s been a while since I’ve flown coach. Do you have to ask for the champagne?” Victor asks when they’re safely seated.

“Why don’t we just get some sleep,” Yuuri chides

“How can I sleep in a tiny seat like this?” Victor pouts.

“Victor, most people can sleep in these seats. Look there’s one already” Yuuri points to a sleeping man (far bigger than victor, Yuuri adds), across the aisle. Contrary to Victor’s comment, the economy seats aren’t that bad. There’s actually enough leg space to sleep in. Yuuri figures Victor’s just picky since he’s so used to flying first class. That and his legs are probably too long compared to a mere human like Yuuri.

“But Yuuri, he’s sooo old! He’s probably too tired from walking and fell asleep in exhaustion!” Victor whines at him.

 _And... you’re not?_ Yuuri snickers to himself. He looks at Victor to tell him that the flight from Japan to China isn’t that long so he should be fine but then the Russian legend frowned even harder at him.

“Yuuri! So mean!” Victor looked like a kicked puppy.

Oops. He might have said that last part out loud.

“Okay okay! I’m sorry, I’m kidding!” He lightly laughs, his palms rubbing against Victor’s shoulder to console him.

Victor pouts at him. “I’m hurt Yuuri! Just for that, you’re lending me your shoulder,” Victor demands.

“My shoulder?” What would Victor do with his shoulder?

“As my pillow of course!” Victor happily explains.

Yuuri blushes at the sudden proposition of intimacy. Really, he should be used to this by now. At this point, Yuuri would conclude that Victor would be sick if he didn’t initiate some – or really **_any_** form of flirtation. Yuuri’s not entirely sure but he likes to think that Victor only acts like this when he’s with Yuuri. _Maybe it’s a Russian thing?_ No, Victor wasn’t like this with Yurio. So maybe Victor’s just a natural flirt? He has complimented Yuuri’s mother tons of times for her god-send cooking. But he’s not clingy to her like this. In fact, Victor wasn’t clingy to anyone else. _Maybe it’s a coach thing?_

“Sure. But I can’t promise it’ll be comfortable for you” He relents, still blushing.

“Oh my cute Yuuri! Of course it’ll be comfortable for me!”

Yuuri reddens further at the praise. _Again with the names!_ This too was something Victor only does to Yuuri. At first, Yuuri thought Victor complimenting him was just to boost up his morale. Victor has information and personal experience about his lack of confidence at the very least. But then it became so frequent it pushed Yuuri to the conclusion that maybe, **_just maybe,_** Victor fucking Nikiforov was flirting with him. _Oh man, what would Phichit say?_ Yuuri believes his Thai friend would’ve laughed his ass of at the statement, or worse, he’d tease Yuuri to death for even suggesting it. Knowing him, it’s probably the latter considering he’s known of Yuuri’s adoration since they became roommates.

Yuuri mentally shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. His focus is the Grand Prix Final, and the Cup of China was two days from now so he should definitely pour all his attention there.

Except, the person of distraction is currently leaning against him, sleeping. Yuuri shifts his eyes downwards to Victor’s head where the beginnings of morning sunlight illuminates his hair. _Oh, maybe it really is getting thin. Maybe Victor’s getting old after all._ Yuuri bites his lower lip to stop himself from chuckling. He shifts a little closer to the window, making sure Victor’s head was still comfortable against his arm. He falls asleep thinking of the competition and of Victor.

 

 

\--X

 

They get to the hotel and Yuuri promptly falls on the bed near the window. Victor had ran off to god knows where (probably to drink or eat), and Yuuri decided to stay to rest up a bit. He could use a quick nap to replenish his energy from all the walking they did to get to their hotel.

Victor bursts in their room a little past six to declare that they’ll be eating hotpot for dinner.

Yuuri acquiesces. Because one, he’s hungry too; and two, you never decline free dinner, especially if the one asking is Victor bottomless-wallet-limitless-credit-card Nikiforov. If he feels like eating ramen, you let him eat ramen, if he feels like eating hotpot then you better be damn ready to eat hotpot. The god commands and the mere humans follow, after all.

It turns out, Phichit – aka self-proclaimed insta king – was also nearby. He invites Ciao Ciao, Yuuri’s old coach to join them and it had somehow turned into a drinking game between the two older men. Yuuri had never seen Coach Celestino passed out because of a drink before, but Victor was still ready to down his glass.

“Yuuri, I’m Russian. I don’t get drunk!” Victor had proclaimed. And yet, he was so obviously plastered.

Yuuri finds out that Victor’s the flirty drunk. At one point, Phichit had mentioned one of Yuuri’s friends in college whom Yuuri took pole-dancing classes with and Victor suddenly got mad, and more clingy. Did Victor even understand the meaning of personal space? Not that Yuuri’s complaining, of course.

“Victor, put some clothes on!” Yuuri begs in horror when Victor unceremoniously threw his briefs in the air. It landed on Guang Hong’s head. Thank god there weren’t any media around the restaurant. Yuuri, very discreetly threw Victor’s jacket over the older skater’s lap. There were children around, they’re not ready to see **_that_**!

“Guang Hong, I’m sorry about this but can you hand me that back?” Yuuri asks, pointing to Victor’s black briefs on Chinese skater’s head.

Guang Hong pockets his phone and hands him the material. Yuuri notes the look of horror on the boy’s face once he got a good look of the underwear. Victor likes wearing designer clothes and his Calvin Klein underwear was no exception. The little piece of cloth probably costs a fortune and Yuuri himself would’ve reacted the same way had he not known of Victor’s rather extravagant lifestyle beforehand.

With the help of both Leo and Guang Hong, they eventually managed to put Victor’s remaining clothes back on. Although Yuuri had to bribe the Russian to that ‘Yes, I’ll sleep with you tonight _’_ and that ‘Yes, no one can ever be better than you, Victor’.

They get to the hotel by midnight and Yuuri falls to the bed with Victor. He’s honestly tired and he didn’t expect Victor to be so heavy. He pulls out his phone to set an alarm. The rink opens to all competitors tomorrow so he needs to get there early to get as much practice as he can.

When Yuuri stands to move to his own bed, Victor hauls him back.

“Nooo. Yuuuuri you said you would sleep with me!” Victor whines. His nose nuzzling down Yuuri’s neck.

So Yuuri lays there, wrapped in Victor’s arms and legs like an octopus.

He tries to ignore his disposition in favor of sleeping.

 

 

\--X

 

He wakes up to an unusual sound. Also, something was poking him from behind.

It takes Yuuri one full minute to realize that Victor was rutting him. Because yes, that was definitely Victor’s thick cock rubbing against his ass and yes, that was definitely Victor moaning behind him.

 _Sweet Jesus, am I dreaming? Oh god is this one of those dreams again?_  Yuuri’s too scared to move. So he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep.

“Yuuri...” Victor whispers from behind him.

Yuuri’s eyes automatically snaps open at this. Okay he’s definitely not dreaming. Victor moans again but it’s half broken because he suddenly stops. Yuuri waits for five whole minutes (Yes, Yuuri counted) before he turned his head to Victor.

Victor was asleep.

Realization struck Yuuri.

Victor was dreaming. Victor had a dream of him. Victor had a wet dream. Of. Him.

If he told his twelve year old self that he’d be sleeping with Victor much less hear the man moan his name, he’d probably have a heart attack. His poor, innocent twelve year old mind will not be able to handle this for sure.

Needless to say, Yuuri only had an hour’s worth of sleep that night.

They arrived late to morning practice than they’ve initially intended because Victor was hung over and Yuuri barely slept. It was a miracle he was able to practice all his jumps. He’s got his stamina to thank for that and Minako-sensei who was relentless in her ballet lessons.

Yuuri slept better the next day. It helped that he was tired from practice.

The day of the competition, Yuuri finds out Phichit had posted a photo of him and a naked Victor from their hotpot dinner two days ago.

Christophe Giacometti, a twenty-five year old Swiss skater, had walked over to him to voice out his complain of being uninvited to their hotpot dinner. Yuuri stutters because he was never really good at confrontations. Yuuri’s rule was: if you could avoid it, avoid it at all costs. Most often, Yuuri runs from it like his life depends on it. Luckily though, he won’t have to run away this time because Victor comes to his rescue.

“Hi Chris. How are you doing this year?” Victor waves a hand, smiling as he walks towards them. Yuuri notices that his smile did not seem to reach his eyes. _Weird._

“I’ve lost all motivation! How could you abandon me, Victor?” Chris pulls Victor’s tie.

A few steps from them, Yuuri hears two women address Victor.

“This is just a fling, right?” One of them say.

“Yeah! This is not like you, Victor.” The other agrees.

“Yuuri, you’re committing a grave sin keeping him to yourself” Christ whispers next to him.

Yuuri swallows the lump in his throat. _Well, he’s already my coach. He won’t back out now, will he? Can he?_

_\--X_

 

Phichit goes first and gets a personal best. Yuuri couldn’t be anything but proud of his best friend.

_Watching Phichit perform helped me realize something. The people who want to see Victor skate aren’t going to be satisfied by my skating. And the people who’ve cheered me on before won’t be satisfied by the old me. If they’re all going to hate me as the man who took Victor from the world of skating, fine! I’ll prove that I deserve him._

He hands Victor his jacket and skate guards when it’s his turn to get on the ice. He’s the second skater who will be performing today.

“The time to seduce me picturing pork cutlet bowls is over” Victor tells him, eyes suddenly darker than normal. “At this point, you can do it just by being yourself” His hand captures Yuuri’s own. “You’ve figured that out by now, haven’t you?” Victor traces a finger at the back of his palm.

His heart was pounding and his ears were ringing. Yet, there’s a strong force within, him pushing him to prove himself to everyone who doubted him.

With renewed confidence, he intertwines his fingers to Victor’s own and brings their faces closer, his forehead touching Victor’s. “Watch me, Victor. Don’t take your eyes off me” They’re so close right now that Yuuri sees something else entirely in Victor’s eyes. Something that proved what happened two days before at their hotel room.

Victor lusts after him.

For his short program, Yuuri dances to prove to the audience that Victor made the right decision in choosing him. His thoughts drift to the silver-haired man. _Nobody else can satisfy Victor, only me. Nobody else knows Victor’s love, I’m the only one. Today, that’s what I’ll be skating to prove._

By some miracle, or by the sheer thought of convincing himself worthy to the world, he nails all his jumps.

The crowd’s cheer is deafening. He ceremoniously bows and waves before he skates to the kiss and cry. He’s still panting from exhaustion when he sits next to Victor.

“You did well” Victor looks at him. “How did it feel when you were out there?” Victor questions as if he was not the one who demanded to be seduced by Yuuri.

Yuuri feels the blush spread through his cheeks. “Good,” he starts. “But mostly, I was hoping everyone else felt good while watching me,” he continues, still embarrassed to look at Victor. He can’t really answer that he felt horny thinking about the older man. A man who apparently, maybe-hopefully-Yuuri-wasn’t-imagining-it, lusted after him. Yuuri squashes this train of thought and instead focuses on the scoreboard in front of him.

He gets a personal best and a tight hug from Victor.

“Yay!” Victor cheers next to him. One of his arm is around Yuuri and the other softly caressing his hair.

“Of course they felt good watching you. How could they not? You were incredible today!” Victor adds, talking softly to his ear. It sent shivers down his spine and he hopes to god Victor hasn’t noticed it.

“Yuuri, are you cold?”

_Crap, he noticed it._

“N-no! I’m just really happy with my score” He lies.

They leave the kiss and cry to go watch the remaining skaters from backstage. Distinctively, Yuuri notices that Victor’s arm hasn’t left his waist since then. At some point, during Chris’ performance, another arm had flung itself across his shoulders over his chest. Yuuri tries to calm his pounding heart by focusing on the performance of the other skaters, but this was barely working.

 _Calm down, Katsuki. Don’t overthink. This is just Victor being Victor, remember?_  

At the end of the short program, Yuuri finds himself in first place and Victor had ran off to talk to Coach Yakov. The separation had brought momentarily relief to Yuuri’s already tired heart.

“Hey, Yuuri! Victor! Can we get a quick interview?” One of the reporters had asked, stopping Yuuri and simultaneously calling out to the Russian. Victor looked all too happy to answer the questions and had glued himself to Yuuri.

“What do you feel after the short program and how confident are you going into the free skate tomorrow?”

“The power of love is strong! I’ll win with my coach, Victor!” That was about the only thing Yuuri’s mind could form at the moment. Everything else was a clutter of jumps, Victor, dance sequences, Victor, score points, and more **_Victor_**.

“Speaking of, what are your thoughts, Coach Victor?”

“My Yuuri is in first place going into the free skate!”

“V-Victor!”

“His short program was flawless-”

“T-That’s enough. It’s embarrassing-”

“Oh don’t be pressured, my sweet Yuuri! I’m sure you’ll do amazing in tomorrow’s free skate!” Victor gleams at Yuuri before facing the camera. “So everyone, please look forward to Yuuri’s performance tomorrow!”

Yuuri twitches at this. _Oh great. Hello, pressure. It’s nice to see you again._

 

 

\--X

 

Yuuri doesn’t sleep that night. Not surprisingly, Victor had noticed this when they headed to the rink the next morning for practice.

“You haven’t slept, have you?” Victor judges him with on hand on his chin and the other on his waist.

“N-no! no! I totally did” Yuuri flails.

Victor didn’t believe him one bit. He pulls Yuuri back to their hotel and practically throws him to the bed. He flops on top of him like it’s the most natural position in the world.

“It will be okay. I slept till the last minute” He reassures, patting Yuuri’s chest before sleeping in a heartbeat’s time.

“V-Victor, did you set an alarm?!”

He doesn’t get a reply. The eye mask Victor had put on him prevented him from looking at anything. He tries to sleep but there’s a big log on top of him and who the hell can sleep in that arrangement?!

 

 

\--X

 

Needless to say, he’s a nervous wreck when they got to the rink in the afternoon. He was so out of it he barely landed his jumps during the six minute warm up.

 _Dear god, please just stop everything!_ He panics, unconsciously switching off all the televisions that broadcasted the competition within the arena.

It seemed Victor took some pity on him and decided to bring him to the parking space.

At least Yuuri can be assured that Victor’s on his side. But what if he messes up during the free skate and completely falls down to the last spot? _That’s going to be so embarrassing!_ Not so mention, his family and friends back home all expected him to do well in it.

His thoughts ran wild as he lists the top 5 bad things that could happen to his free skate. The top spot is definitely Victor leaving him.

_I can’t believe it’s only my first event and I’ll already lose Victor. I’m so pathetic. Maybe Chris and those female skaters were right, maybe Victor’s wasting his time on me. Maybe I don’t deserve Victor after all._

An announcement was made and Yuuri unconsciously removes his earplugs.

“With this performance, Phichit Chulanont is re-writing Thai figure skating history. What an incredible performance!” the commentator’s voice drifted all the way down to the parking lot where Yuuri was currently warming up.

He shakes so hard it felt like the ground itself was moving.

Suddenly, a pair of hands clasped his ears. “Don’t listen!” A furious voice shouted at him and Yuuri is surprised to see an angry Victor.

_It’s Victor. Victor’s still here. But for how long? Will this be his last day as my coach? It’s probably better for him to leave someone as weak as me and return to his career. He doesn’t look happy at all._

The announcer introduces Leo to the ice and Yuuri shies away from Victor’s gaze. _His eyes looks so mad right now. Probably because I’m such a disappointment to him._

 “U-um Victor? It’s almost time” He stammers, slowing reaching out to Victor’s hand to remove them from his ears. “Don’t you think we should be going back? I’m up soon” Yuuri might as well get this over with. He’d hate to waste any more of Victor’s time.

He starts to walk back to the rink when Victor calls him.

“Yuuri”

He turns.

“It is at least partially my fault if you mess up your program today and don’t make it on to the podium. I’ll take responsibility and resign as your coach.” He looks directly into Yuuri’s eyes.

And like a dam that had failed to contain too much water, Yuuri’s resolve gives out and he breaks down.

“V-Victor, why would you say something like that like you’re testing me,” Yuuri felt the tears blurring his eyesight before they poured down his face.

Victor’s eyes widen at seeing Yuuri cry “Look Yuuri, I wasn’t being serious. I’m sorry.” He slowly approaches Yuuri’s shaking form.

Yuuri was having none of it. Victor needed to hear this and Yuuri knows he had to let some of it out.

“I fail a lot so I’ve gotten pretty used to it over the years. But it’s different now because I’m worried about my mistakes reflecting on you!”

Victor stays quiet.

“Part of me has been wondering if you secretly want to quit,” he sobs.

A mixture of realization and guilt flashed through Victor’s eyes momentarily before he smiles at Yuuri “I was just saying that. Of course I don’t want to qui-”

“I know!” Yuuri screams.

“I’m not very good with people crying. I don’t know what to say in this situation,” came Victor’s response after a moment of silence. “Should I just kiss you or something-”

“No!” Yuuri knows how awful he must look right now but he needs to release this out. He needs Victor to **_know_** because Victor should know this by now. “Just have more faith that I’m going to win than I do! You don’t have to say anything, just stay close to me Victor,” he begs brokenly.

With no words left to be said, Yuuri turns to walk back to the rink. Victor follows closely behind, not saying anything. They get back to the ground floor of the auditorium and Yuuri feels a warm hand on his shoulder. Victor still doesn’t say anything so Yuuri lets the hand stay.

They eventually reach the rink side, both still silent with no words being said. Yuuri avoids all eye contact, willing to ignore the tension.

_He’s literally taking what I said to heart, he’s not saying anything at all. Somehow, this is so different from the normal Victor I’m used to. Is he sad because of what I said? He’s probably beating himself for that lousy joke he cracked at the basement._

Georgi finishes his free skate and Yuuri gets on the ice. He grabs a few tissues to blow his nose before he finally looks at Victor.

_The poor guy. He looks like Makka-chin when he’s deprived of any treats._

He drops his used tissue just a little farther away from Victor’s hand so the older skater would have to reach for it.

Victor does, bending to catch the tissue and Yuuri takes advantage of this, pressing a finger to his coach’s hair before patting it. _Okay that’s enough frowning for you, old man._

He shifts away from the stands and moves to the center of the stage. He feels a lot better after crying. Yuuri smiles, remembering the look on Victor’s face when he had broken down to cry.

_I’ve cried after a competition, but that’s the first time I’ve cried before one._

He lands his first quad – a quadruple toe loop, double toe loop combination.

 _Better than I expected,_ he thinks. _Victor’s too inexperienced as a coach. It’s not like its news that I get nervous before competitions. He should’ve been prepared for that. Stupid Victor._

He jumps for a quad salchow and nails it.

Yuuri slides to a spread eagle then to an Ina Baur before jumping for a triple axel. He mistakenly touches the ice when he lands.

_I could’ve controlled the speed better. Not bad though, considering I didn’t do it during warm up._

He lands his next jump – a triple flip.

_Hm... what if I made the last quad into a flip instead of a toe loop? I wonder what Victor would think about that?_

He over-rotates in the triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination.

_Could be worse given how little sleep I’ve gotten._

He makes up for it by landing his triple-lutz, triple toe loop combination.

 _I want to become stronger, I will become stronger. I can surpass Victor’s wildest imagination!_ He moves into the step sequence as best as he can.

Finally, he musters all the energy he has left and jumps. Unfortunately, he does not land the quadruple flip perfectly. He fell but he had enough rotations for a flip. He moves on to the final spin and the final pose, one arm reaching out to Victor and the other closer to his heart.

It’s then that the realization of what he feels towards Victor finally hits him. And it hits him so hard he mentally falls down on his knees.

 _I don’t want Victor to leave me. I want to be with him for as long as I can...for as long as he’ll allow me._ He compares this to his feelings towards his family and friends, but it doesn’t feel the same, not even close. With Victor, Yuuri finds that he constantly wants to be the lone object in the older man’s eyes. He understands now why he was so stubborn to keep Victor to himself. Like the light of the day, everything is perfectly clear to Yuuri.

He sees Victor at rink side with both hands on his face and wonders if Victor was mad. _I need to know._ He performs the ceremonious bow to the audience before he looks back to see that his coach had already left his previous position and had ran to the kiss and cry. He skates there as fast as he can.

_Victor_

“See that? I did great right?” He extends his arm in happiness, hoping to embrace the older skater. Now more than ever, Yuuri wants those strong arms around him, comforting him, congratulating him.

For a moment, Victor’s smile looked proud.

And then, he launches himself to Yuuri.

The last thing Yuuri sees was Victor’s eyes. They were so blue as they approached closer towards him. Time seemed to have moved slowly with every second taking longer than the next. Until finally, there was Victor’s lips, colliding with Yuuri’s own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... never forget: Yuuri is imperfectly perfect; and Victor sucks at coaching and sucks even more at making his feelings reach Yuuri.
> 
> If there were any mistakes please let me know so I can fix it! Also, please pray for my beta, she's still sick. Let's all hope she feels better soon.
> 
> Leave a comment to let me know what you thought of this chapter.
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://kittyfujoshi.tumblr.com/) for some YOI posts/reblogs.


	3. It's Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “W-why did you kiss me?” Yuuri curses himself for stuttering.
> 
> Victor doesn’t answer immediately and Yuuri wants to kill himself because anything is better than this long, torturous wait for his response.
> 
> “Why do you think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to update this. I got struck by an inspiration to write a new fic. But no worries, I'm gonna finish this soon. :)
> 
> Also, that Explicit rating? Yeah, that's there for a reason. 
> 
> On to the chapter!

Those lips? They felt absolutely perfect against his own.

His eyes widened in surprise as strong arms wrapped themselves around him, engulfing him and bringing him a sense of protection to his anxiety-driven self. He loses his footing and feels them fall towards the ice. Somehow, his head didn’t hurt as much as he expected it to when it touched the ice. Because it never did, he finds out. Victor’s hand was there, taking the impact of the force.

For a moment, Yuuri stood frozen beneath Victor. _Did that just happen?_ He blinks a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming this time. Because really, his ass hurt a little from the impact and Victor’s hug seemed to have tightened around him. If Yuuri didn’t know any better, it felt like Victor’s in disbelief as well, maybe trying to ascertain of what had transpired between them.

“I wanted to surprise you more than you’ve surprised me” Victor says, pulling up from the embrace.

Yuuri notes how clear his eyes are at that moment, a never endless sea of blue and white.

“This was the only thing I could think of,” Victor adds.

Yuuri blushes, blinking again, but he smiles. “Well, it worked.”

Victor smiles back and Yuuri sees something warm flash in Victor’s eyes.

 

 

\--X

 

 

Phichit won the Cup of China and Yuuri kept Chris in check by winning second.

They were interviewed a moment later when they got back from the customary podium photos.

“Yuuri’s already proven he’s the skater to beat this year. Now with the quad flip in his roster, I’m sure he’ll win the Rostelecom cup and advance to the Grand Prix Final! I look forward to returning to Russia as his coach.” Victor responds happily when asked for his opinion.

Yuuri doesn’t point out that the reporter asked for Victor’s thoughts on Chris’s performance – because Chris used to share the podium with Victor – instead of Yuuri’s. With a shy smile, Yuuri answers that he’s expecting to see Chris in the finals with how well his program was.

They return back to their hotel to pack up. Unexpectedly, the ride back didn't feel as awkward as Yuuri thought. He barely has the chance to say anything because Victor keeps talking about practically everything he sees. Yuuri answers back as best as he could, or at least he tries to.

“Can you believe that reporter a while ago? He looks kind of mean to me, asking about Chris when they should be focusing on you! Not that I dislike Chris, of course. He’s good, but I know you could do better!”

“Well, I don’t really mind-”

“Also, I talked to Chris a while ago and he said he’s looking forward to seeing you in the Grand Prix Final so you are right to expect him there.”

“Yeah-”

“Oh and Phichit too, I’d assume. He skated wonderfully a while ago. That boy is all smiles and has so much energy! No wonder he has over a thousand followers on Instagram. It’s almost enough to beat my own!”

Suffice to say, this type of 'conversation' carried on until they arrive at their hotel.

Silence took over as they pack up the rest of their things in their luggages. If anyone outside saw them right now, they could very well cut the tension with a knife.  A million thoughts are running simultaneously in Yuuri’s mind. _What if he just tripped? What if he didn’t mean anything by it? What if I’m just getting it all wrong in my head? What do I even say to him?_  Finally, Yuuri decides to hell with it and musters enough courage to ask the burning question.

“Victor?”

“Yes, my Yuuri?”

“W-why did you kiss me?” Yuuri curses himself for stuttering.

Victor doesn’t answer immediately and Yuuri wants to kill himself because anything is better than this long, torturous wait for the older skater's response.

“Why do you think?" came the response. Viktor's face was stoic and unreadable.

It feels like there’s a lump stuck in Yuuri’s throat. “U-um... to surprise me?”

Victor nods, smiling at Yuuri. “That’s correct. Do you think there’s another reason?”

In that moment, Yuuri’s heart shatters. The weight of being turned down was too much and Yuuri wanted to sob. To cry his until his eyes fell out of him and die of bloodloss. That suddenly felt better than picking his shattered heart and putting the glass pieces back with bloodied hands. Of course there wasn’t any other reason. He’s Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri’s just Yuuri. _Don’t be absurd Yuuri, that’s not a romantic kiss. Stop expecting, dumbass._

“Yuuri?” Victor asks but Yuuri has his back turned to him. He doesn’t want Victor to see his face right now. He’s not exactly sure what he looks right now, but people often told him his eyes water when he’s sad. And right now, he's utterly broken.

“Hm?” He hopes to god his voice didn’t crack.

“You didn’t answer me. Did you think there was another reason?”

Yuuri gulps, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. “Is there?”

There’s a soft padding of footsteps near him and suddenly, he feels a strong presence behind.

“Yuuri, tell me honestly. What were you thinking during your performance?”

“I-I was thinking of a lot of things.”

“Did you think of me at all?”

“I...” He closes his eyes, a second pass, then another, before he continues “Yes.” It’s barely a whisper, his mind alarming in all signals to back out and shut up.

“Good, because I’ve thought of nothing, and I mean nothing, but you since I saw that video of yours.” Victor states, one of his hand traveling to Yuuri’s arm.

Yuuri finally looks back to Victor and he notes that look again. The same one at the airplane when Yuuri let him sleep against his shoulders and the same look Victor showed him when he arrived back from his press conference after declaring his theme of love. The look Victor flashed the first time they went to the beach when Victor asked him what he wanted to be for Yuuri. It’s also the same look after Victor surprisingly kissed him in front of a million audience.

_It’s now or never,_ Yuuri thinks. “Victor, I.. I... love you!”

Even Yuuri thinks he’s crazy. But really, there’s nothing else to explain what he’s feeling ever since Victor came to Hasetsu and declared to be his coach. Did he say Victor was stupid a while ago? Sure Victor’s stupid but Yuuri’s worse because he’s an idiot. It took him this long to finally realize that his thoughts of never wanting to let go of Victor or wanting nothing more but to see Victor smile or to please Victor was more than platonic love. Fuck, he’s even masturbated to the thoughts of Victor. He’s no longer a sex-crazed teen so doing that in his twenties should mean something else, right?

“I know Yuuri, I love you too.” Victor smiles innocently at him before adding, “it’s a friend’s love, right?”

And oh crap, Victor’s totally misunderstanding all of this.

“No! Victor, you don’t get it. I’m-I’m **_in_ ** love with you!”

Victor is quiet after this.

But Yuuri's not having any of it. He already got it out, he might as well pour his heart out.

“All this time, I’ve been in love with you. I know this sounds weird or disgusting but I need to let you know. I can’t just let go of you Victor, I've wanted you to stay close to me and now I know why,” he confesses. It felt like the last of his strength had just left him. Yet, at the same time, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest.

“I’m confused, Yuuri. Are you saying that you love me in a romantic sense?”

Yuuri doesn’t look in Victor’s eyes. He's afraid, frightened of what he'll see there. But he nods yes.

He hears Victor let out a long exhale.

“I’m sorry, Yuuri.”

Yuuri feels the corner of his eyes begin to wet “I-It’s okay, I never expected anything from you anyway, remember? I only want you to be yourself after all and this might be awkward so just forget I said anything- ”

“I’m sorry because I’m joking.”

For a moment, Yuuri stood dumbfoundedly frozen, his eyes blink back the tears. _Huh?_ Yuuri finally looks up at the older skater. _What did...?_

“Finally, Yuuri!” Victor dramatically places one hand to his forehead. It was a comical act that looked like he was about to faint. “What took you so long?”

“U-Uhm...”

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for your confession? I was beginning to think I had to wait for years before your feelings caught up to mine!”

“W-What?” Yuuri feels his mouth dry.

“Honestly, Minako-chan told me you were dense but I never knew it was up to that extent! I practically threw myself at you but you never budged!” Victor finally looks at him, smiling as he takes Yuuri’s face to his hands. “So tell me Yuuri, I’ll ask again. What do you want me to be to you?”

Yuuri laughs and he's unable to stop the tear that rolls down his face. Because finally, **_finally,_ ** this was really happening! “My lover,” he replies, as bold and as strong as he can.

“Good. That was the answer I was hoping for when I first asked you that question.” Viktor's eyes sparkled as he says that. And then, he lifts Yuuri’s face and slowly brings their lips together. The first peck was unsure but all too eager to explore, until Victor’s tongue swiped at his lips.

Yuuri is all too willing to open his mouth and let Victor take.  His tongue felt so foreign to Yuuri but it felt absolutely wonderful at the same time.

It could've been hours, Yuuri's not sure because he loses himself to the kiss, but they eventually pull back for air and they both laugh at how red their cheeks look.

 

 

\--X

 

 

That night, the night before they head back to Japan, they’ve pushed both the single beds in the middle so they could have more bed space to cuddle.

“That was mean of you, Victor,” Yuuri breathes, pulling away from another intense make out session. It was addictive, Yuuri didn’t want to stop but he had to remember that breathing was an integral part of living.

“Hm? Why’s that, my love?”

“I seriously thought you were rejecting me!”

“Well, it was sort of a payback for bullying me before you went to do your free skate.” Victor grins and Yuuri rolls his eyes.

_I knew it. Victor Nikiforov everybody, champion skater on the outside but an eight year old on the inside._ “Payback huh? Well then... What about this!” Grinning, he reaches for Victor’s sides and proceeds to tickle the older man.

“Yuuri! No! You can’t do that to your senpai!” Victor says between laughing fits.

It seems surreal but right now, acting this way towards his idol, and now, lover? Yuuri couldn’t be any happier. Having thoughts of being something more to your idol, Yuuri could only dream. And yet, here he was now, passed the boundaries of friendship. That boundary felt like a thousand miles before, but he had successfully overcame it.

Yuuri eventually stops when he finds himself straddling Victor. Victor must have pulled him on top when he tried to return Yuuri’s tickles. They stare into each other’s eyes for a few more seconds, both trying to think of what else to say at a time like this.

“I thought you’d never be able to return my feelings, Yuuri.” It’s Victor who speaks first.

“Why would you think that?” Yuuri wonders.

“Because you kept slipping through my fingers,” Victor explains, reaching up and running his fingers through Yuuri's hair as if to give emphasis.

Honestly, Yuuri isn’t sure what to make of that. He aims a questioning brow at Victor.

“You weren’t really accepting of my touches, Yuuri.” Victor chuckles.

_Oh._  And then Yuuri remembers all those times Victor tried to clung to him, all those unnecessary public displays of affection. All those times he thought Victor was just a natural flirt.

“I wasn’t sure...” Yuuri smiles sheepishly.

Victor sighs. “Frankly, Yuuri you’re the first person to ever make me go through all that. Both Mari and Minako-chan said you were quite dense and I wanted to prove them wrong but you were making it difficult!” Victor mocks a disappointed look, one hand perfectly covering his eyes.

Yuuri feels his face heat at the admission. “I’m sorry. But Victor, you weren’t exactly easy to read as well you know!” This time he glares accusingly down at Victor, his forefinger pressing down the Russian's chest.

“But that’s all in the past now, right? What matters is the present!” Victor winks up at him, and then grins enthusiastically at the younger skater.

“Yeah. I love you, Victor.” Yuuri’s voice is so soft when he says it. He admits that he never really had that much confidence and he hopes Victor understands him this much at this point in their relationship.

“And I love you, my Yuuri.” Victor smiles back up at him before he reaches behind Yuuri’s head to bring him down for another kiss.

Yuuri kisses back as best as he could. He shivers when Victor’s tongue massages his own, gentle sparks cursing through his skin and butterflies fluttering in his chest. _Wow... Victor’s really good at this. Figures._

Yuuri was beginning to lose himself again to the kiss when he felt it.

_OH... Is that..._

“Yuuri,” Victor breathes in his ear when they pulled away for air. “We should stop. Not that I’m against this but I don’t want to pressure you on our first day as boyfriends. Your mother might kill me, and I’m not ready to die at twenty-seven.” He adds the last part with a laugh.

Yuuri blushes. The word ‘boyfriends’ sounded good to his ears when Victor says it, most especially when he refers the word to them and their newly developed relationship. “My mom loves you. If anything, I think it’s Mari-neechan you should worry about.”

Victor considers this. “Huh. Point taken.”

“Can- can I touch it?” Yuuri mumbles as he peeks from beneath his lashes.

He’s not sure where this confidence is coming from.

He sees the hesitation in Victor’s eyes for a second “A-are you sure? I’m not exactly average down there, you know?” he chuckles.

_I’m well aware,_ Yuuri thinks.

Yuuri nods so fast he feels like a broken record. At Victor’s signal, Yuuri moves. With shaky hands, he reaches down to Victor’s briefs, hands at waistband before he slowly pulls the soft material down.

Victor’s cock springs up to his navel. Thank merciful God. Yuuri wants to bow down and worship it. It’s thick and long and absolutely perfect. Fuck, Yuuri wants to taste it so bad.

“What should I do?” Yuuri looks back up to Victor, he knows fully well that he’s blushing.

“Like this, Yuuri” Victor holds his hand and gently wraps it around his cock.

It feels heavy in Yuuri’s palm and Yuuri gives an experimental tug at it; once, twice and a few more times until he got used to the weight.

“Oh Yuuri! You’re doing so well, babe.” Victor groans at him, one hand softly caressing Yuuri’s face and the other flicking his own bangs.

Hmm. He quite likes seeing Victor beg.

Encouraged by Victor’s words, Yuuri begins to move his hand up and own Victor’s cock, pleased that the older skater seems to like it.

“Yu-Yuuri?”

Yuuri shifts his eyes from Victor’s shaft to his eyes, the silent ‘yes?’ hung in the air.

“May I please pleasure you as well?,” Victor looks so unsure, his eyes searching Yuuri’s own for assurance, probably even acceptance. As if Yuuri can even deny him anything at this point. It’s then that he notices that he’s also hard.

“B-But, I’m not like you... down there” Yuuri stutters, hands stilling in movement and looking away from Victor’s icy gaze.

“Oh Yuuri, my sweet beautiful Yuuri. I don’t care about that” Victor gushes. He plants a kiss on Yuuri’s forehead, his nose, and then his lips. “You don’t ever have to be afraid of what I’ll think. You’re perfect in every way to me. Trust me, Yuuri.”

In that instant, Yuuri positively melts. Dear god, Victor was just too good at making Yuuri’s heart crazy. The Japanese skater wonders if he’ll ever survive the rest of the night. If he doesn’t, he hopes Phichit would make sure his grave had the words ‘died happily in the hands of the most beautiful man on the face of the earth’.

They shift in position as Yuuri slides back up the bed.

Victor hovers over him. He pulls up Yuuri’s shirt and kisses every new inch of skin that becomes available to him. “Oh Yuuri, you’re so perfect to me – so amazingly perfect,” he whispers as he mouths Yuuri’s collarbones, his chest, his slightly toned abs, and stops at his navel.

“Please, Yuuri?” Victor looks up to him and Yuuri would have to remember this for the rest of his life. Victor fucking Nikiforov begging to see his dick. Bless his soul.

He shyly nods, lifting his hips a little so Victor could remove his boxers. The moment his cock was freed, Victor immediately latches onto it.

“V-Victor!” Yuuri moans. Victor’s so good at this. His hand pulling and squeezing at all the good places.

_That’s unfair,_ Yuuri thinks as he reaches to touch Victor’s own erection. He begins to copy Victor’s movements. The room fills with their moans and stuttering breaths, it was pure pleasure.

“Baby, I’m so close. Can we come together?” Victor’s voice broke, caught between gasping and groaning. How Victor’s still able to form coherent thoughts, Yuuri doesn’t know. Probably from all of Victor’s experience from his past lovers. He squeezes Victor’s cock harder and salivates at some of the precum that had spilled to his fingers.

Victor does the same and soon Yuuri feels that he’s also about to come. “Victor, I can’t anymore...”

“Then come, my love. Come for me.”

Yuuri ejaculates with a cry and he sees white. His body shaking at the force of his release and body arching to Victor’s touch. He collapses back to the bed, laying limp, with Victor falling on top of it.

It takes them a few minutes to regain their bearings. It’s only then that Yuuri notices that Victor had also came in his hand, judging by the liquid substance coating his palm. He probably did before he collapsed on top of Yuuri, but Yuuri was drowning in pleasure to notice this. He’s too spent to notice anything, actually. It’s been a while since he’s jerked off, the last one was probably a couple of days before Japan Nationals when he was so stressed and confused about a lot of things.

_I had just given and received my first hand job...with Victor fucking Nikiforov_. The reality of it all seems so impossible to Yuuri’s twenty-three year old mind, much less his fourteen year-old self who obsessed over the Russian champion. He’s still wondering how he got to this point when Victor spoke.

“Yuuri, that was amazing.” Victor brings his clean hand up to Yuuri’s cheek and directs his face for a kiss. “You’re amazing.” He adds when they pull away.

“Thanks. I’m just glad I satisfied you.” Yuuri laughs.

“Oh Yuuriiii! Haven’t I said it before? You can never disappoint me.” Victor chuckles against his neck before nipping the junction where his neck meets his shoulder.

“That’s skating. This is different” Yuuri defends, slurring his words.

“It’s not. You have an extraordinary stamina and I have an extraordinary dick. Don’t you think we’re perfect for each other?” Victor declares, flashing a heart-shaped grin at Yuuri.

Yuuri snorts. “More like a monstrous dick.” 

Victor winks in response. “Yuuri... If you keep saying that, I might not to let you sleep tonight. I’m sure you know what that means” Victor sing-songs.

Yuuuri flushes. “Maybe we should continue when we get to Russia, we still have an early flight tomorrow”

They’ve decided beforehand to stay in Victor’s condo in Moscow for the remaining three days leading up to the Rostelecom cup. They would be able to save more time and money instead of going back to Japan and traveling again to Russia for only a short amount of days.

Victor pretends to contemplate this. “You’re right. As your coach, I should let you sleep. I’m sure you’ve had a tiring day.” Victor then jumps up to grab some wet tissues from the bathroom and proceeds to clean the both of them.

“Sleep now, my Yuuri”, Victor says after he positions himself behind Yuuri, effectively spooning the younger skater. He kisses the back of Yuuri’s head and tightens his arm around Yuuri’s wasit.

Sighing in content, Yuuri finally gives in to sleep.

 

 

\--X

 

 

They arrive in Moscow at about 1 PM. Both are exhausted from the 7 hour non-stop flight from Beijing. Yuuri notices the herd of fangirls at the waiting area, most of them wearing cat ears and waving photos of Yurio. _Huh, looks like Yurio’s arriving today too_. Victor conveniently directs them to the taxi bay where he instructs the driver to his apartment address. Yuuri marvels at the way the Russian words flow out of Victor’s mouth. He’s seen a lot of interviews of the Russian skater but there’s still something in the way Victor talks in his mother language that absolutely draws Yuuri’s attention.

“Tired, Yuuri?” Victor smiles apologetically at him, his hand reaching out to hold Yuuri’s.

Yuuri manages a small nod, “a little, yes.”

“Don’t worry, my condo is pretty close to the rink so you can enjoy sleeping for a little bit more before we practice.” Victor flashes him his infamous heart-shaped smile.

The cab ride stops a few minutes after and Yuuri looks out to see a ten-story condo building outside. It looks posh, there’s even a doorman outside. Yuuri thinks the building looked more like a hotel rather than a condominium. Plus it’s really near the ice rink, probably only someone like Victor can afford it.

They step out and one of the doorman notices Victor and he greets him, immediately rushing to the back of the taxi to gather their things.

They exchange a few more pleasantries in Russian and Yuuri takes this time to really admire Victor’s apartment. It’s obviously one of the more expensive stay-in places in the area, and by the looks of the interior behind the glass revolving doors, it no doubt is.

A gentle hand finds its way down the small of Yuuri’s back. “Yuuri, shall we go inside?”

“Of course.” He smiles up at Victor, his **_boyfriend_ ** , he reminds himself.

They make their way inside and one of the receptionists immediately greets them, her smile directed to Victor first, and then to Yuuri. Victor smiles back at him and greets back before urging Yuuri to the elevator and promptly pressing the 8th floor.

“Albert and Anna are lovers, by the way. You don’t need to look so jealous.” Victor chuckles, and Yuuri blushes. Victor’s probably caught him staring at the two people a little too long.

“I’m not...” Yuuri grumbles, pouting.

“Of course not, my love.” Victor places a kiss to his forehead before he wraps one arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. It’s a comforting weight, Yuuri realizes.

The lift chimes, signaling that they’ve arrived at their stop and Yuuri guides Victor to one of the rooms. Room 8A. For some reason, Yuuri expected Victor to own the whole floor. But then, Victor was based in St. Petersburg so maybe owning a whole floor was impractical.

“For a second, I was afraid to find out that you owned the whole floor.” Yuuri chuckles to himself as Victor takes out his keys. The doorman – Albert – was now behind them, having exited the service elevator.

“Oh I wanted to. If only Yakov didn’t stopped me.” Victor chuckles back.

Yuuri stood frozen and eyes wide in horror as he watched Victor step inside. _Oh yeah, I almost forgot, my boyfriend has an impulsive tendency. Note to self: don’t forget._ Yuuri shudders at the thought. It would be a while before he could get completely used to calling Victor his boyfriend.

The unit has two bedrooms and two bathrooms. There’s one bathroom in the master bedroom where Victor’s things are and there’s an extra room which Victor claims is the room where Yakov is welcome to stay when they’re in Moscow for a competition, but would always refuse because he couldn’t stand Victor’s ‘god-awful’ morning and nightly beauty routines. The living room’s couch is quite big and it’s wide enough for Yuuri to sleep in but Victor insists that he’s not letting his boyfriend sleep anywhere else but his bed.

Yuuri flushes at the implication of what Victor had just said; and excuses himself to the bathroom, between the living room and the guest bedroom, while Victor instructs Albert to leave their bags in the living room.

 

 

\--X

 

 

“Yuuri, my sweet Katsudon. Wake up, my darling!”

Yuuri groans, trying to bury himself further in the soft comforter, arms squeezing the pillow in his arms. Everything smells like Victor and Yuuri wants to stay nested here. Preferably, forever.

“Now, now. You need to get up and get ready or else we’ll miss our dinner reservation.”

_Our what?_ That had definitely woke him from his half-conscious state. He looks up, squinting at the sight of a blurry Victor before he remember he’s not wearing his glasses. Victor kindly hands it to him and he props it to his nose before noticing his surroundings. That’s odd. He’s sure he had fallen asleep on the living room couch when Victor was unpacking his things in his room. Victor must’ve carried him here.

The bed is king-sized, nothing less from Victor. The bedroom interior is also classy, no doubt of Victor’s doing as well. And the owner, Victor? He’s just smiling expectantly down at Yuuri.

“Uhm...”

“Come on, Yuuri. We’re going to be late!”

_Oh yeah. Dinner reservation, he said._

“But didn’t we agree that we’d order in for dinner?” Yuuri asks, sitting up from the bed.

“Well, yeah. But I’ve always wanted to bring you to this really good restaurant so I figured we could go there now before we actually start the practice!” Victor delightedly says to Yuuri.

Yuuri groans. So much for staying in. “Fine.”

Victor stands up, pleased with Yuuri’s answer. “Oh and by the way, it’s a coat and tie attire only venue so you can wear one of my shirts.” Victor walks to his closet and takes out a white shirt, handing it out to Yuuri.

Yuuri examines the clothes. It’s soft and the cut would emphasize his waist. He winces when he sees the tag. Of course Victor would own a Burberry shirt. Aside from that, he also notes that the shirt smells very much of Victor. “You just like seeing me in your clothes...” Yuuri smirks.

Victor pauses at first, before throwing a wink at Yuuri. “I do. As much as I like seeing you in my bed, actually.”

Yuuri’s heart pounds in his chest and he gets up from the bed to walk to the bathroom in hopes of hiding his embarrassment. _Damn, Victor the smooth talker_.

The bathroom is very Victor-esque, Yuuri finds out. He notices all the expensive products lined up against the shelves, a mix of local and international brands. He grins to himself when he spots the anti-hair fall shampoo. Victor really wasn’t going bald, his hairline was just receding. And Yuuri liked to make fun of it. It’s a weakness of some sort – it makes Victor human, not the far out of reach God Yuuri once thought.

He taps open the shower and waits for a few seconds for the warm water to fall. Washing his hair, he grabs one of Victor’s revitalizing shampoo and squirts a small portion onto his palm before washing his hair then the rest of his body. Once done, he steps out of the shower area and grabs one of the fluffy towels in the rack. He gets dressed quickly with Victor’s choice of clothes. Unconsciously, Yuuri comments out loud that the shirt really did smell like Victor.

“It’s mine, love.” Victor chuckles in bed looking up to Yuuri from his phone.

Victor adjusts his tie again before they exit his unit, noting that black looks good on Yuuri but maybe dark brown will bring out his eyes more. And that it’s a shame Victor doesn’t own one because it clashes terribly with his hair color.

They take another taxi cab going there. It’s supposedly a thirty minute cab ride but it quickly turns to an hour because of the Saturday night traffic. They arrive to a stop in front of a tall building which Yuuri describes as ‘outrageously grand’. Victor directs them to the top floor where he says the restaurant they’re eating is situated.  Once there, a fancy looking waiter immediately greets them and confirms Victor’s reservation for two. The two men are then directed to a secluded spot beside tall glass windows, overlooking Moscow. Yuuri is completely floored at the view, the city lights glittering down under with the busy car lights.

One of the waiters arrive to hand them their menus and Yuuri is almost afraid to open it. From marble tiles to the eccentric chandeliers, Yuuri knows he won’t be able to pay for tonight’s dinner, probably not even his share of their meal.

Luckily, Victor orders for the two of them in fluent Russian and the waiter gratefully takes their orders before coming back with a bottle of champagne.

“Uhh.. Victor?” Yuuri starts when the waiter has left. His fingers are crossed on his lap, afraid to break anything that would cause him a fortune. “Why are we eating here?” His tone is high-pitched from anxiety but he managed to whisper his thoughts.

“What do you mean? I told you before I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Victor says, placing the champagne glass down after sipping.

“But everyone looks so... I don’t know, high class? And I don’t even want to look at the prices in that menu! I feel like I’d get a heart attack.”

“Oh shush, Yuuri. You deserve this! You did get second place in the Cup of China. As your coach, I need to motivate you to do better in your next competition and I thought this would be the perfect motivation!”

Yuuri sighs in defeat. He can never really win against Victor when he starts with the ‘as you coach...’ talk. Or as Yuuri likes to call it, ‘Just follow Victor’ talk.

“Also, it’s our first official date as boyfriends. You’ll allow me this much, won’t you Yuuri?” Victor pouts.

_That’s not fair,_ Yuuri thinks because Victor knows by now that he’s weak when Victor gives him that look. So Yuuri accepts his fate of being Victor’s date and lets Victor spoil him for the night.

They talk about a lot of things before their food arrives, mostly about Moscow as Victor insists they should visit as many places as they can before they leave for the Grand Prix Finals. Yuuri wants to tell him that he hasn’t qualified yet but he likes the way Victor implies that he fully trusts and believes that Yuuri will make it to the final event of the competition.

The food eventually arrives and Yuuri moans as soon as he takes the first bite.

“Victor! This is amazing!”

“That’s only the appetizer, Yuuri. I can’t wait until you taste the main dish!” Victor’s smile is blinding. He looks very happy and that was enough for Yuuri.

They eat and talk and at one point, Victor reaches out with a napkin to wipe something in the corner of Yuuri’s mouth. Yuuri thinks Victor’s just faking it because that was by far the cliché-iest move Victor had pulled. He only lets it slide because he thinks Victor’s cute for trying.

“Thank you, Victor.” Yuuri says, snuggling closer to Victor after they’ve gotten home and were now laying in Victor’s bed. “For tonight, for being my coach, for everything, really.”

“The pleasure is all mine, love.” Victor replies, placing a light kiss on Yuuri’s head and bringing an arm around him. “Now go to sleep, tomorrow’s going to be a full day practice and I expect you at the top of your game”

“Yes, coaaach” Yuuri rolls his eyes because Yuuri is aware about tomorrow’s schedule even if Victor doesn’t tell him. Out of the both of them, he’s the one who actually sets an alarm.

In the next three days, Yuuri’s focus was winning his second qualifying competition.

 

 

\--X

 

 

At the Rostelecom Cup, Seungil, Emil, and Michele Crispino are at the rink side waiting for their turn.

“Why don’t you listen to some music instead of watching the others, Yuuri?” Victor suggests, guiding Yuuri backstage after his 6 minute warm up.

Yuuri nods. He knows Victor’s still concerned about his anxiety, especially with what happened at the Cup of China. Honestly, Yuuri thinks he’s getting better at it. He’s still a little tense but just remembering that Victor’s by his side, cheering for him, that’s enough to boost Yuuri’s confidence. This was probably what Minami felt when he cheered for him at the Japan Nationals. There’s a different feel when it’s your idol rooting for you, it just makes you want to do better.

Yuuri imagines the step sequence of the Eros routine, pictures how he’ll move to the music, completely ignoring when someone mentions his name. He looks to the right to find one of the skater, Jean-Jacques or JJ as he calls himself, looking at him and saying something Yuuri didn’t catch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t catch that?” Yuuri says pulling off his earphones.

“You did the same jump at last year’s exhibition. Didn’t you, Victor?” JJ walks past Yuuri and stops in front of Victor. “I’d love to see that again.”

“I don’t recall.” Victor says in clipped response.

Yuuri looks back at their exchange and observes. Victor’s usually kind to other people, maybe JJ had done something to Victor before? He knew they competed against each other at Worlds last year so maybe something happened then.

“Yuuri, it looks like you’re almost up, shall we get back out there?” Victor says, completely ignoring JJ who’s still talking to him. He places a hand in the small of Yuuri’s back and guides him away from JJ. _Huh, it must be something that JJ said just now_ , Yuuri assumes from the way Victor was adamant to get them away from the Canadian skater.

“Um, yeah sure.”

They return to the rink just in time to see Michele perform a triple lutz – triple loop combination. His performance ends and he goes to the kiss and cry and gets a good score of 89.65.

There’s a five minute break before the second group starts and Yuuri’s the first one to skate so he prepares himself mentally, removing his jacket and handing it to Victor.

Victor offers to tighten his shoelaces and Yuuri lets him, leaning his body at the rink barrier. Victor looks up at him, smiling in encouragement and Yuuri suddenly feels lighter. Victor’s always managed to make things easier for Yuuri, always meeting him halfway. Yuuri couldn’t possibly ask for more.

He removes his skate guards and steps into the ice. He slides one little circle before he goes back to the Victor, noticing the man happily waving at the crowd. That was how Yuuri noticed that the crowd was chanting Victor’s name. And Victor? The Russian champion was apparently indulging them with his attention.

_That won’t do. Victor’s mine._

Yuuri abruptly grabs Victor’s Versace tie to pull him down, close enough to whisper in Victor’s ear.

“The performance has already started, Victor.” He purrs.

A second pass and then, “I know it has.”

“I’m going to go out there, and I’m going to show my love to the whole of Russia!” Yuuri declares with a final huff, not letting Victor answer back before he glides to the center of the rink.

_That was so embarrassing!_

He feels his face warm at the realization of how he had just acted.

_But I can’t let the crowd intimidate me in enemy territory. I have to intimidate them._

The music starts and Yuuri slides his hands down his sides before blowing a kiss at the judges’ table.

_If I don’t do well enough at the Rostelecom Cup, this may be the last time I’m skating to this song with Victor as my coach. I don’t know how many people in the world want me to win... Probably no on here in Russia. It’s not a very comforting thought, but that doesn’t matter. I can’t let it stop me._

He nails the triple axel from a spread eagle, his quad salchow, and even his quad toe loop – triple toe loop combination.

It’s the first time Yuuri has landed all his jumps in a competition and he finishes his short program with the final pose before waving his thanks to the crowd.

_Alright. Looks like I got my message across._

He grabs a few of the stuffed plushies thrown at the rink before he glides to the kiss and cry to where Victor was.

Yurio’s there too. In his Agape costume, it seems.

“Out of my way, piggy.” Yurio sneers at him and Yuuri is shocked as he moves to the side.

“Well, I think he’s found... his Agape.” Yuuri comments after seeing the determination in Yurio’s eyes. He looks back to Victor and they both grin.

“Finally!” they say at the same time.

They walk to the kiss and cry to find out Yuuri’s score, while Yurio skates a few circles around the rink.

When his score is finally announced, Yuuri wants to punch himself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Because apparently, he had beated his personal record by getting a 109.97 in the short program. Victor loops one arm around him and the other waving happily at the crowd.

“V-Victor, calm down!”

Victor surprises him by going down on one knee to kiss his skates.

“I’m so proud of you, Yuuri.” Yuuri smiles back up at him, his eyes shining so clearly.

From the corner of his eyes, Yuuri sees Yurio looking at them. _Oh yeah, Yurio should be starting soon._

“Davai, Yurio!” he cheers, both arms raised.

Victor notices the younger skater too and he stands up, almost knocking Yuuri off the bench. “Skate well! Ganba!” He shouts too.

From across the other side, Yurio glares at them, one eye twitching and Yuuri bets he’s probably growling too, before he skates off to the center of the ice.

 

 

\--X

 

 

Yuuri’s in the middle of an interview when they announced Yurio’s score. He’s in the 90s, not bad since he looked really angry in the ice instead of feeling the agape.

And then, like some sort of horrible déjà vu, a disturbing call broke Yuuri’s heart.

“Hey Yuuri, I’m sorry to call during an event, but Makka-chin got into the steam buns and one of them got stuck in his throat.” Mari-neechan’s voice sounded strained at the other end of the call. “Anyway, we’re at the vet right now, but they’re not sure he’s going to make it.”

If they’ve announced that Yuuri’s in second place after JJ’s performance, Yuuri didn’t care. All his thoughts swam to what happened back in last year’s Grand Prix Final, to Vic-chan whom he couldn’t see, to Makka-chin whose life is currently in danger, and to Victor, who Yuuri was certain would break if something happened to his companion of more than ten years. The thought of Victor, sad, ultimately shattered Yuuri’s heart. He wasn’t going to let what happened to him happen to Victor. Yuuri has his friends and family but Victor only had Makka-chin. Victor can’t lose him. If he does, god help them, at least he wants Victor to be by the poodle’s side.

Clenching his jaw, Yuuri makes his decision.

“Victor! You need to get back to Japan.” He says, slurring a few English words in haste. “I can handle the free skate tomorrow on my own.” He says, as confidently as he can in hopes that Victor would accept.

Victor looks surprised at first. “W-what are you talking about, Yuuri?”

“Makka-chin’s in the vet right now, they say he might not make it. Mari-neechan said one of the pork buns got stuck in his throat. So you need to get there. Right now!”

“Yuuri, you know I can’t leave you-”

“But Victor, you know you have to go back!” Yuuri knows fully well that Victor wants to go back, he’s just acting like the good coach he thinks he is. Too bad for him, Yuuri knows better.

“I already told you, I can’t.” Victor sighs, placing one hand behind his bangs. He’s thinking of how to best approach the situation when a group of individuals caught his eye.

“Yakov!” he exhales, walking in long strides to his former coach. “That’s it, thank god! I’m so glad you’re here!” He places both arms in Yakov’s shoulders as if he’s leaning for support.

_He probably did this a lot way back before_ , Yuuri thinks.

“You are the coach for me.” Victor continues.

Yakov gruffs. “What’s this? Crawling back, already?”

“It will just be for tomorrow, for one day only. Will you be Yuuri’s coach?” Victor asks, no, he’s probably begging from the way his voice breaks.

“Huh?” Yuuri lets out in surprise. Until it settles to Yuuri what this means...

“HUH???!”

That was all three of Yuuri, Yakov and Yurio.

“W-what, Victor-” Yuuri starts

“Be quiet Yuuri, let me handle this.”

“Yakov, you can’t be seriously considering this?!” Yurio stutters

“Please, Yakov.” Victor pleads

It takes Yakov a few more seconds before he nods his consent “But you owe me on this, Victor. Remember that.”

“Oh thank you, Yakov. I knew I could count on you!” Victor throws his arms around the older Russian. He then turns back to Yuuri and pulls him out of the arena after grabbing Yuuri’s things from the locker room. “Yuuri, let’s go.”

Yuuri blindly follows as they take a taxi back to Victor’s condo where he quickly packs his things. Yuuri was in his phone browsing through the numerous flights, trying to find the quickest route back to Japan. Aeroflot’s the earliest but they’re cutting it short because it leaves in less than an hour and they don’t know how bad the traffic will be going there. They needed to move faster if Victor wants to make it to the flight. He confirms the booking anyway.

“I already booked you a flight. It leaves in an hour so you better hurry, Victor.” He says.

Victor looks up at him, smiling gratefully before he resumes packing his valuables. In under ten minutes, they’re down at the lobby and Victor’s taxi is waiting outside.

Everything was moving too fast - too soon. And amidst the rush, Yuuri’s heart was breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented, kudos'ed and bookmarked. I promise I'll be replying to the comments in the previous chapters in a few hours. You guys are amazing and I can't ask for better readers.
> 
> Many thanks again to my beta kawalie for looking over this chapter.
> 
> Also, if you guys want something else to read, check out my [Prime Minister Viktor AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/804216)! ;)
> 
> As always, comments fuel me to write. Leave as much as you want! :)


	4. Doubts and Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor goes back to Japan and leaves Yuuri doubting their relationship. Yuuri is determined to prove his love for Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut and lots of drama

“Ask Yakov if you need help or don’t understand anything.” Victor says, arms wrapped protectively around  Yuuri. “If you’re in trouble, just hug him and he’ll be there for you.”

Yuuri realizes that maybe, it’s Victor who needs the hug more than he does. It’s Victor who needs to be comforted right now.

“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I know I won’t be here but I’ll be with you in spirit.” Victor gives him one final squeeze before he drags his luggage outside to the waiting cab.

And then, Victor went back to Japan.

Yuuri feels like his body’s moving in auto-pilot as he makes his way back to the unit to clean up and prepare for tomorrow’s free skate. He’s alone right now, completely and utterly alone.

On Victor’s bed, he closes his eyes and tries to get as much sleep as he can. He inhales Victor’s pillow in hopes of retaining any feeling of the older skater by his side.

He gets up early the next day for his practice slot. Yakov isn’t there yet but Yuuri guesses he’ll probably come around in a while. Yuuri is a little early, it’s still Emil’s turn to practice.

Yuuri gives a curt greeting when Yakov finally arrives towing a sleepy Yurio.

“Practice your jumps.” Yakov says in thick english.

Yuuri nods in understanding. He’s not nailing most of his jumps but he’s doing fairly well. _I need to stay strong,_ he mentally berates himself after touching the ice when he landed his quad salchow. He needs to focus and prove to Victor that he can do it even without him. He's not that weak, and he can prove it to the world. Because Victor has somewhere else to be and Yuuri doesn’t want to be any more selfish than he already is, hogging Victor all to himself. If Victor believes him enough to win, then Yuuri needs to win. He’ll do it for Victor, for his family and friends, for Japan.

In the afternoon, before the free skate, he gets interviewed by reporter Morooka.

“It didn’t look like you talked to coach Yakov too much in this morning’s practice. How do you feel about that?” He asks Yuuri.

Yuuri winced, that was true. He was also a little distracted in this morning’s practice thinking of everyone back home, especially Victor and Makkachin.

“I-I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’ll skate like I always have with Victor and it’ll be fine!” He stuttered, unsure if he’s trying to convince Morooka or himself.

“Alright, thank you Yuuri and good luck!” Morooka nods, flashing Yuuri a thumbs up.

Yuuri sheepishly smiles at the camera with a small wave before walking backstage for warm ups.

During warm ups, he sees Seunggil walking back from his free skate and notices the teardrop that fell from the Korean’s face. Suddenly, the feelings from last year’s Grand Prix Final rushes back to him. He knows all too well how Seunggil’s feeling – the guilt of being unable to perform his best.

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He shouldn’t be thinking about that right now. That was the old Yuuri, this Yuuri had Victor by his side now. Not literally, but in spirit, like Victor told him before he left. He knows his family will always support him- Yuuko, Takeshi, and the triplets as well.

He took long slow breaths. _Calm down Yuuri, calm down._ What would Victor say?

If Victor was here, he would smile encouragingly at Yuuri. Victor would trust Yuuri, he would support Yuuri. He’d tell Yuuri to focus on his warm ups instead of watching the other competitor’s programs.

Yet, as his eyes drift to the television showing Yuri Plisetsky’s insane program, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Yurio was planning four jumps at the second half, he’d be tired as hell and Yuuri only hopes the young blonde would keep it together and power through it.

He runs up at the skate to watch Yurio’s final movements and he’s immediately floored by how Yuri managed to finish without fail. _A performance beyond his limits, that’s what it was,_ he thinks as Yurio falls to the ice in exhaustion.

“You better get out there.” Yakov’s voice interrupts Yuuri's  thoughts.

Yuuri nods and removes his jacket, Yakov taking it and draping it over one of his arm.

_Why is it so blurry,_ he thinks as he takes his position at the center of the ice.

The music starts and his body moves on its own, automatically from the relentless practices he’s made for this program.

_I don’t want people to think that everything Victor taught me so far has been a waste. I have to prove myself by winning. If I fail here, everything’s over._

Yuuri jumps for a quad toe loop, triple toe loop combination but the triple toe loop turns into a single.

_Damnit! Calm down... calm down. How do I recover from this?_

He thinks of Victor. Victor telling him that he flubs his jumps when he’s overthinking, Victor introducing himself as Yuuri’s new coach.

_Somehow, he seem to know how I felt._

Yuuri recalls his failure at last year’s GPF.

_Before Victor came, I never went around saying I was going to win gold. But whether I said it or not, that’s what I skating for._

He jumps, and nails it this time.

_Honestly, I wanted to win gold at last year’s grand prix final too._

He remembers Victor’s words by the sea in Hasetsu. “You aren’t a weak person, Yuuri. Nobody who knows you would every say that,” Victor had said. He remembers his declaration of love as his theme and how love has changed him.

_I made it this far because Victor believed in me. What happens if I don’t make it to the Grand Prix Final? No, stop it. Don’t think right now._

He hears someone shout at rink side but it was cut off. It sounded like Yurio.

_Yurio looked like that last three jump combo was going to kill him. That idiot,_ he fondly chuckles, _he doesn’t have as much stamina as I do._

He lands his triple axel nicely.

_Whether Victor’s here, or I’m alone, it’s still just as difficult._

He lands his triple flip.

_I just need to keep it simple. This program is me. Nobody else can skate it the way that I can._

He jumps for a triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination. He’s a little out of breath but that was the first time he finally landed that combination in a competition. His next jump was the triple lutz, triple toe loop combination and he lands fairly clean.

_Victor and I created this program together, and I love it so much it hurts._

He moves into the step sequence.

_I’m not finished yet. I won’t be done until I get the gold with Victor._

Yuuri moves for the final spin and finally, the music stops. His knees give out when it was finally over; and he takes mouthfuls of air, trying to catch his breath.

_That’s the hardest I’ve ever pushed myself to complete a program._

When he finally musters enough strength to stand, he bows to the audience and goes to the kiss and cry. Yakov is waiting at the sides, handing him his jacket with a deep frown. Momentarily, Yuuri wonders how Victor approaches a frowning Yakov. Or maybe Yakov never frowned at the kiss and cry because Victor always makes him proud. He was Victor Nikiforov after all, owner of numerous figure skating world records.

The silence was unbearable at the kiss and cry as they wait for his score. He’s so used to a cheerful coach like Victor, always telling him what he did wrong and what he did good. He closes his eyes and sadly thinks that Victor would probably be disappointed by his performance.

“Hey,” Yakov’s gruff voice snaps him out of his thoughts. “Vitya designed that program for you. Yet you failed to take advantage of it. You’d have been better prepared if you practiced for the possibility-”

_A lecture at the kiss and cry... this was were Victor learned it._ He muses as he drones off the rest of Yakov’s words.

His score is announced and he looks at the screen to see he’s in third place. Yakov said something next to him but he was too busy thinking of his results. At this point, he’s still not sure whether he’ll make it to the GPF or not, they would need to wait at the end when all scores have been tabulated. He sighs, feeling as if a sudden weight has been lifted off his chest. There’s nothing else he can do but wait. He feels so tired right now, emotionally, physically, mentally...

“What’s wrong-” Yakov doesn’t finish because Yuuri surprises both he and himself when he hugs the older Russian.

“Spasibo.” He whispers.

_Victor will be going back to Russia, before long._

They’d have to end this contract, eventually, Yuuri knows. And with the way he performed today, he might not make it to the GPF after all. He’d have to say goodbye to Victor sooner than he expects to. That thought pained his heart and he shakes a little, eyes clenching shut as he hugs Yakov tighter.

JJ finishes his skate and he gets first place, followed by Yurio and then Michele.

It’s a little while later when it dawns to Yuuri that he made it to the Grand Prix Final, but it doesn’t feel surreal.

_Michele and I are tied in points, but I’ll squeak into the Grand Prix Final since I took second at the Cup of China._

The Rostelecom cup is over and Yuuri is exhausted, so terribly exhausted. He thanks his lucky stars that he had somehow made it to the Grand Prix Final. He hugs everyone he sees, with the exception of Yurio who was too fast for Yuuri to catch.

_Dear God, thank you..._ Victor wasn’t leaving him just yet.

It’s snowing when Yuuri finds himself outside Victor’s condominium building. Somehow, Moscow’s city lights reminds him a little of Detroit’s city lights, except it was more quiet in Moscow.  It allowed Yuuri to think.

He considers his competitive figure skating and how he’s so close to ending it. He’s not as young as JJ not especially Yurio and he wants to win the gold now while he still can. He thinks of the Grand Prix Final that will take place in Barcelona, Spain. How everyone participating in the event are all so talented or younger than Yuuri. How they’re all better compared to Yuuri.

And then, Yuuri stops thinking, he decides...

_The Grand Prix Final will be my last chance. Even if I don’t take first place, I’ll have Victor step down as my coach. And then-._

Yuuri’s thoughts are halted when he feels a sharp pain to his side. A second later, he finds himself eating snow as he was thrown to the ground by the sudden force.

“There you are, Katsudon. I’ve been looking for you!” Yurio’s glare could be heard by his growl.

“H-Hey Yurio.”

“What was with all that hugging earlier? Stop creeping me out!” Yurio sneered at him but Yuuri knows from all those times they spent in Hatetsu that it was only Yurio’s way to let people know he’s concerned. “And your free skate was pathetic! You get to make the excuse that you didn’t’ do you best because Victor wasn’t there. But I was in top form skating out there today and earned a new personal best,” He held his head high momentarily before frowning in disbelief “...only to lose to JJ again.” He continued.

He points an accusing finger at Yuuri. “You have no right to be more pissed off than me, okay?!”

Without letting Yuuri respond, he throws a brown paper bag at him. It lands on Yuuri’s lap. Yuuri notices that the bag was quite warm.

“It’s for you,” Yurio says, “it’s almost your birthday, right?”

“Huh?” Yuuri quickly opens the bag and his eyes widen when he finds piroshkies inside. “Pirozhki!”

“Eat.”

“Wha- right now?” Yurio blushes for a second before he continues glaring at Yuuri.

“Yes, now!”

When Yuuri takes a bite, he notes that the delicacy contained rice, pork and egg. It tasted awfully like something he’s oh so familiar with back in Japan. “Wait... is this...?”

“Da!” Yurio confirms. “My grandpa made them himself. Aren’t they great?”

Yuuri stops for a moment, admiring the way Yurio talked about his grandfather. It was the first time, he’s seen a genuine smile on the younger skater’s face. He’s only seen this face when Yurio performs Agape, and even then, it doesn’t last in the whole performance.

“Yeah. They’re vkusno!” Yuuri cheers, imitating Victor. He indulges in another bite of the baked buns. It was his first time eating an authentic pirozhki and he’s surprised it tasted so well with having the similar ingredients as a katsudon.

Yuuri invites Yurio to Victor’s unit and they enjoy the remaining pirozhki while watching tv. Yurio grabs the remote control and switches it to some Russian cartoon. He translates some of it when Yuuri is confused on why Yurio is laughing and he looks questioningly at Yuuri when he laughs at something funny the cartoons did even though they probably said something not funny.

They ransack the remaining food in Victor’ refrigerator, which is not much. But they’re both tired from the competition and Yurio eventually leaves, to Yuuri’s dismay.

Yuuri’s alone again when he goes to bed, but he sets his alarm really early so he could make it to the early flight back to Japan.

 

 

\--X

 

On the flight back, he thinks of how he’ll break it to Victor. By the time he arrives at the Fukuoka Airport International Terminal, it’s all too soon and Yuuri was still unprepared.

_There’s so much I want to tell you, Victor... What do I say first?_

He hears a bark somewhere to his left and his eyes follow to where the sound came from. He recognizes the brown poodle, thankfully looking cheerful, before his eyes land on the familiar silver-haired man sitting at one of the waiting benches.

Their eyes met in an instant and they both sprint, eyes transfixed in each other’s orbs.

When the glass doors open, Yuuri throws himself in Victor’s awaiting arms, uncaring for the people around them. He was finally in Victor's arms.

“Yuuri,” Victor’s voice sounded so weak, so tired. “I’ve been thinking about what I should do going forward as your coach.”

“Yeah, so have I.” Yuuri whispers. Suddenly, the guilt comes crashing back. Victor’s probably disappointed in him. So Yuuri takes the initiative to say what he knows Victor wants to say. “Victor, will you... be my coach... until I retire?” Yuuri knows he’s being so selfish, still wanting Victor to himself even though he probably doesn’t deserve him. But he wants this so much, this will be the last thing he’ll ever want as a weak human. If only Victor would agree. He hopes Victor would bear with him for a few more days until the Grand Prix Final, until he’s ready to let Victor go.

Victor smiles in relief, grabbing Yuuri’s wrist and placing a gentle kiss to Yuuri’s knuckles.

“That sounded like a marriage proposal.” Victor jokes.

Yuuri is surprised for a moment at what Victor said before he smiles back. _Figures Victor would make light of the situation_. He probably doesn’t know how to break it to Yuuri.

“Yeah.” Yuuri steps forward and hugs Victor again, burying his nose in the junction of Victor’s shoulders.

“In that case... I hope you never retire.”

The moment Yuuri hears this, his tears began to overflow. How could Victor still want him? After all this time? Yuuri was pathetic, he was weak, he’s not for Victor, he doesn’t deserve Victor. But Victor, his oh so kind, oh so thoughtful idol, coach, and recently, lover... he’s done nothing but believe in Yuuri. And this broke Yuuri’s heart because even after all this time, Victor still wants someone as weak-willed as him.

Yuuri’s ashamed he even had that idea of Victor quitting as his coach. So he’ll do his best, for Victor. He’ll make Victor proud and show Victor that he didn’t make a mistake on that fateful day he came to Hatetsu to declare his intention of becoming Yuuri’s coach.

“Let’s win gold together at the Grand Prix Final!” He sobs to Victor’s coat. He’s going to be strong for Victor, he decides.

And yet... in the back of his mind, Yuuri knows that the doubt will always be present.

 

 

\--X

 

That night, they trade slow kisses on Victor’s bed. Kissing Victor always brought a sense of reassurance to Yuuri. Regrettably, they broke apart when Victor felt that they were going too fast.

“We should slow down. You’re tired, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s eyes flutter close as he chases Victor’s retreating lips. He doesn’t want to stop. He wants to feel Victor, he wants to engrave this forever in his mind that Victor still wants him regardless of how pathetic he was. He wants to forever remember that at one point in his life, he had Victor all to himself. And if that made Yuuri selfish, then so be it. He’ll hold on to Victor as long as Victor wants him.

“V-Victor... can we- can we go all the way?” Yuuri breathlessly asks.

Victor looks surprised for a moment before passing it off as a joke.

“Yuuri, you must be tired from the competition. It might be better for you to rest.”

Victor’s rejection hurt.

“Do you... not want me?” Yuuri asks even though he knows all too well Victor’s answer. After all, how could someone as perfect as Victor want to sleep with someone as flawed as Yuuri?

“What? Oh no, Yuuri. Of course I want you. Of course I do! Who wouldn’t?! They’d be fools” Victor assures him trailing kisses down Yuuri’s jaw and neck.

“I’m not that tired. So please Victor, just for tonight?” he brokenly pleads. He just wants to feel Victor, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever have this opportunity again after the Grand Prix Finals.

“Yuuri...it might be difficult for you” Victor explains, his hands running up and down Yuuri’s side. “I know you haven’t had lovers before so it might be too fast for you”

“I know... but Victor, I want it to be with you. Please, will you make love to me?” Yuuri pulls Victor’s face from his neck so he could look at Victor’s ocean-blue orbs. “I can’t think of having it with anyone else”

A flash of anger reflected on the Russian’s features. “Of course, my love. There’s no way I’m letting anyone else take it from me. I’ll fight tooth and nail to claim it.”

Yuuri chuckles at this. He lifts his hand to caress Victor’s cheek, trying to pacify the older skater. Only Victor would enjoy seeing him naked on ice let alone have sex with a virgin like him. _This feels good_ , Yuuri decides. He’s been so down the whole day but finally having Victor, and letting Victor submit to his stubbornness, makes up for the terrible day he’s had since yesterday.

“Yuuri, it’s going to be difficult for you at practice tomorrow, if we go all the way.” Victor warns, but it looked like his last attempt to restrain himself.

Yuuri already sees the way Victor’s eyes darken in lust even with the dim lampshade as the only source of light in the room.

“I’ll make it work. I’ll land all of my jumps tomorrow” Yuuri promises. “Just… please. I love you, Victor."  This is his last card, the ace he knows Victor won’t be able to reject. He’ll probably feel bad later when he remembers how he guilt-tripped his lover into having sex. Yet right now, he just wants to be assured of having Victor close to him.

“That’s not fair, Yuuri. You know how much I love you too” Victor growls, looking directly at Yuuri’s eyes.

And Yuuri does see it, something passionately burning in Victor’s eyes. But to how long? A small voice whispers at the back of Yuuri’s mind.

“Then make love to me, Victor.”

Victor growls in response, nipping Yuuri’s neck and leaving several bruises. “You have to promise me...”

“Anything”. Yuuri thinks that even if he’d have to break his body to win the Grand Prix, he would; but Victor surprises him yet again with a different request.

“Promise me Yuuri, if it gets too much, you have to stop me at all cost. You need to tell me if you’re hurting. Do you understand?” Victor says looking concerningly at Yuuri.

“Of course.”

Victor kisses him again and shifts Yuuri flat on top of the bed. He leaves a few more kisses to Yuuri’s neck and slowly removes his shirt, peppering kisses on Yuuri’s chest, sucking one of his nipples while his hand traveled to his boxers. He slowly reaches for Yuuri’s cock and begins to pump it.

Yuuri moans, feeling himself get hard immediately at the contact.

“V-Victor... please.”

Once Victor completely removes Yuuri’s remaining clothes, he takes a moment to enjoy the Japanese beauty's completely naked form.

Instinctively, Yuuri covers himself. “Y-You too” Yuuri says, shyly looking up at Victor.

Victor chuckles before he all too willingly strips. He then reaches for the bedside drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube and a pack of unopened condoms. He moves on top of Yuuri again, placing both items nearby.

“Are you absolutely sure about this, love?” Yuuri almost glared back at the man.

“Yes, Victor. I love you. And I want you.”

“I love you too, Yuuri.” Victor smiles, leaning down to place a chaste kiss to Yuuri’s lips.

_I love you more... so much more that I’m willing to give you up if you ask me to._

Victor’s hand resumes moving up and down Yuuri’s length. It’s not long before Yuuri comes with a whimper, his hand covering his mouth in an attempt to prevent his family from finding out that he was fooling with his boyfriend.

Yuuri reaches out to Victor to do the same but Victor stops him.

“Please let me take care of you tonight, my love. Tonight should be all you.” Victor says, kissing the back of Yuuri’s hand in a princely gesture.

He then moves to Yuuri’s nipples, stimulating them both with his tongue and his cleaner hand. Yuuri feels himself starting to harden again and he mentally thanks his stamina for that. Victor kisses Yuuri’s navel and blows raspberries to his belly button which makes Yuuri chuckle.

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri” Victor murmurs

Yuuri wants to say that it’s Victor who’s beautiful, but he’s too high strung from his recent orgasm, his breath coming in ragged.

“Victor!” Yuuri whines instead, hands running through Victor’s hair, lightly pulling

Victor moves to his still sensitive cock and it reacts immediately, almost humanely. It’s only been a few minutes since he came but he was young and he has incredible stamina, so that definitely explains it. Victor licks his cock while his hands gently massaged Yuuri’s balls.

Yuuri moans, one of his hand covering his mouth and the other grasping desperately at the bedsheets.

“The next time we’re doing this, we’re going to do it in a hotel where I can hear you.” Victor says

Yuuri agrees wholeheartedly at this.

Victor’s hands and mouth felt heavenly against his body. It’s surreal that they were finally at this point in their relationship.Yuuri had always doubted that they would progress this much in just a short amount of time.  And yet here they were.

He’s been anxiously waiting when the first finger enters him. He doesn’t know when Victor had managed to open the bottle of lubricant but judging by the way the finger easily slips in him, Victor had successfully done just that. It was a different feeling, but not uncomfortable. Slowly, Victor tested the waters by moving his finger in and out.

Yuuri gets himself adjusted to the intrusion.

Victor prods him with a second finger.

“Victor... please, please...”

“Not yet, love. I need to prepare you properly” Victor chides, sucking Yuuri’s cock ever so often when Yuuri begins to soften, stimulating him again, making sure that Yuuri would only feel pleasure amidst the pain of the preparation.

Victor removes both fingers and Yuuri growls in protest, his ass chasing the familiar feeling by now when it leaves him.

“You’re so eager, love. But we’re not yet done” He lubes three of his fingers and slowly inserts them inside Yuuri.

Yuuri gasps, hands clenching the sheets and back arching a flexible C. It was definitely a long stretch from the two fingers and now he wonders what it would feel like to finally have Victor’s cock inside him. He couldn’t wait.

Victor moves his fingers inside Yuuri, stretching, finding something.

When it hits something inside Yuuri, Yuuri half cries-half whimpers in pleasure. He hopes he wasn’t heard by his sister who's room was directly below them.

“Found it,” Victor grins, obviously pleased with himself.

Yuuri honestly didn’t care, he just wants Victor to do that again.

Victor all too willingly obeys.

Yuuri’s toes clench and unclench against Victor’s sides, trying to push back against the fingers. It wasn’t enough, not nearly even.

“Victor, now... please” Yuuri pleads because Victor’s fingers weren’t enough and Yuuri’s sure only Victor’s long thick cock would be able to hit that soft bundle inside him.

Victor removes all three fingers and Yuuri thought that he’d finally be able to feel all of Victor but when something probes against Yuuri, he feels four fingers instead.

“Victor!” Yuuri groans in disappointment.

“I know love, I know. But trust me, this is necessary.”

Yuuri moaned at the intrusion when all four fingers entered him. This was definitely a big stretch from having three fingers, but somehow, Victor continued to be patient, letting Yuuri adjust. He paused as soon as all four fingers were fully seated inside Yuuri. Slowly and gently, he moves his fingers and brushes against Yuuri’s sweet spot.

“Victor, please I can’t wait anymore, I’m ready, please!” Yuuri’s hand pulls desperately at Victor’s hair.

Finally, Victor removes all four fingers and moves to tear open a condom before coating his cock with a generous amount of lubricant. He also squeezes a few drops of the liquid around Yuuri’s puckered entrance.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay Yuuri? I’m stopping as soon I see any sign of pain. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I want you. Now!”

Slowly, the blunt pressure increases and he feels himself stretch open as Victor’s head penetrates him. He groans at the intrusion.

Victor immediately stops.

“Love, are you okay?” Victor asks, voice strained.

Yuuri can’t form any words, so he nods in response. He’s thankful of Victor’s experience since he’s probably done this with a lot of people and he knows he’s not exactly average in that department and it’s a good thing he’s so caring.

Victor pushes another inch and Yuuri nods for him to continue. Inch by inch, he lets Yuuri adjust before continuing to advance further into the tight space.

Halfway in, Yuuri wonders how much more he can take Victor inside of him. The stretch hurts but the amount of lubricant Victor used helps, even a little. Victor abruptly thrusts more than an inch of his shaft and Yuuri muffles a scream using the back of his hand.

“Yuuri? Yuuri! I’m sorry! I-I couldn’t control myself just now. I’ll stop. I’m sorry love. I can’t see you hurting anymore than this” Victor all but babbles and Yuuri feels him pulling out, his hand wiping a tear that had somehow fallen down Yuuri’s face.

“No!” He wails. He wants this. He’s been wanting this ever since he saw Victor at their hot springs. He needs Victor. Nothing could compare to the happiness he's feeling right now with the man he has loved for as long as he could remember making love to him. “No... I can take it. Please continue”

Victor doesn’t push in immediately, but he nods, letting Yuuri adjust before he finally pushes in the last few inches to situate himself fully inside the Japanese boy.

Yuuri’s panting heavily. Victor feels so big inside of him, so incredibly good. If he was a girl, Victor’s cock would have probably reached his womb and he’d get knocked up immediately.

Victor, sweet caring Victor, waits for probably five whole minutes to let Yuuri adjust to his full length.

“P-please, move” Yuuri chokes when he finally feels himself ready.

Victor pulls out half-way and thrusts back inside Yuuri.

“A-ah” Yuuri moans as the slight movement hit Yuuri’s prostate. He imagines the gratification he’d feel when Victor fully moves inside him. Yuuri raises both legs and wraps it around Victor’s waist.

“M-more, please... h-harder.”

Victor gives in. He pulls out almost all the way out until only the head is left before pounding inside.

Yuuri screams in pleasure.                                                                                                  

_So good... so good... he’s hitting it inside me,_ is the thought running through Yuuri as Victor practically nails him to the bed. Yuuri’s head hitting the headboard from the movement.

“Yuuri, you’ll bleed yourself, bite onto my shoulder” Victor gently pries Yuuri’s abused hand from his lips and lowers his shoulder for Yuuri teeth to reach.

Yuuri desperately latches onto Victor’s collarbones to stifle another scream caused by Victor’s pleasuring. He’s unable to hear the lascivious sound of skin slapping on skin due to his own pants and muffled moans.

The continuous pressure inside Yuuri finally feels too much and he comes untouched, all over his and Victor’s torso.

Yuuri is spent, his legs falling to the bed, momentarily losing all strength. It takes him a second to realize Victor is still hard inside him.

_Damn that monstrous cock._

He feels Victor slowly pulling out again but Yuuri’s arms move on their own, wrapping around Victor’s neck. “Don’t stop!”

Victor looks surprised at first and he looks uncertainly at Yuuri.

“I’m fine.” Yuuri assures him. “Amazing stamina, remember?” Yuuri regains his strength and locks his ankles behind Victor’s hips, urging him to continue. He’s slightly tired from coming twice but he doesn’t want to stop.

Victor smiles in relief before he thrusts back in and out of Yuuri. He bends down to kiss Yuuri and their tongues frantically meet and move along each other.

Yuuri feels Victor twitch inside of him and he knows even without Victor saying that Victor’s close. Yuuri tightens around him as Victor relentlessly pounds at him.

“Yuuri!” Victor shudders as he comes inside the condom.

They stay connected for a few minutes, catching their breaths.

“Yuuri, amazing!” Victor finally breaks. “It’s been a while since I came like that. Your stamina is truly incredible!” Victor praises, pulling out and removing the condom, tying it before tossing it to the trash bin. He grabs some tissues from the bedside table and wipes both of their stomachs off Yuuri’s semen.

“Thanks” Yuuri croaks out, moving to rest on his sides once Victor had finished cleaned them both.

Victor immediately wraps himself around Yuuri once he’s done.

Yuuri’s not sure how Victor turns from a sex god to a clingy boyfriend in a matter of seconds. He figures it’s just the way Victor is.

Yuuri’s about to fall asleep when he hears Victor chuckle from behind him.

“You know, I thought I’d never get you to my bed.”

That gets Yuuri’s attention. He assumed Victor could manipulate him to anything so why would Victor think of that.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it didn’t look like you wanted us to go there”

“Well when you’re faced with a dick like yours, most people would be scared”

Victor chuckles. “I agree, which was why I tried every possible way to get you to react”

“Oh yeah, like showing up naked in our family’s bathhouse?” Yuuri snorts.

Victor thinks for a moment. “Yes, but there was actually another time I got desperate...”

Yuuri’s confused so he shifts to look over at Victor, their bodies facing each other now. “what do you mean?”

“Well.. I... sort off jerked off while you were sleeping” He said the last part so quickly but Yuuri caught it.

_Oh... That time...?_

Yuuri remembers that first night they shared the same bed before the Cup of China. He thought Victor was having a wet dream after getting drunk. He couldn’t sleep a wink because of that!

“Yuuri, please say something”

“Y-You pervert!” He sputters, softly slapping Victor’s chest.

“I’m sorry!” Victor pouts “I was also particularly drunk that night and thought I was dreaming. I only realize I wasn’t when I woke up!” Victor takes one of Yuuri’s hand and guides it to his lips. “Please don’t get mad, I promise it wasn’t intentional.”

Yuuri pretends to get angry and glares at the older skater. “Fine, but you’re treating me to dinner as compensation.” He winks at Victor, hoping the older skater would catch on that he was joking.

Victor heartily grins at this. “Of course, my love. I’ll treat you to the best dinner you’ll ever have” He leans down and kisses Yuuri again, manhandling Yuuri so his head was now lying on Victor’s right shoulder with Victor’s arm draped around Yuuri’s shoulder, rubbing his arm.

Yuuri’s not too sure if Victor got the joke, but he’s too tired to think of anything so he sleeps. He’d deal with it when the time comes.

 

 

\--X

 

The night they get to Barcelona for the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri finds himself jet lagged and resorts to sleeping it away. He wakes up moments later and checks his phone to find he had a few missed calls from Phichit. He thinks of calling him back later when he’s more awake. He checks his Instagram and finds out most of the skaters competing in the finals have also arrived.

Victor’s apparently with Chris, based from the photo Chris posted of the two of them striking a pose near a swimming pool. He scrolls down and sees a selfie of Phichit with the world famous Sagrada Familia as background, a photo of JJ with his girlfriend, and Yurio with members of his fan club.

He groans as he falls back to the bed. “Love’s changed me. I’m stronger now, and I’ll prove it at the Grand Prix Final, with a gold medal” he says to himself.

And then he thinks of what he needs to do to get that gold medal. He thinks of JJ, Chris, and Yurio skating, of how he needs to do better than them to win that gold medal. Suddenly, he remembers what happened at last year’s Grand Prix Final – how he had let his anxiety eat away all his hard work.

Yuuri feels the pressure, so much of it now that he’s so close to getting that gold.

Yuuri shakes his head, burying his face to his pillow. He needs to get his mind off of those thoughts, but it’s so hard because he’s alone right now. He needs someone to get him through this anxiety right now.

“Where are you, Victor?” He chokes. “I need you”

The door bursts open and Victor barges inside, Chris in tow.

“Yuuri I’m freezing. Will you draw me a hot bath? I can’t feel my toes!” Victor shivers.

“Oh and while you’re at it, how ‘bout so coffee?” Chris adds.

Yuuri only has a second to register what’s happening before the two very drunk skaters jump on him. Both drunk skaters are also cold, very cold.

“Jeez! You’re like human icicles. Get off me, both of you! I’m not your heating pad!” Yuuri cries, trying to move away from the cold hands.

Chris does as he’s told but Victor doesn’t. He settles on wrapping his arms around Yuuri snuggling him from behind. Yuuri shivers once he felt Victor nosing his neck.

“Hey, Victor come on. I can’t get to the bathroom if you won’t let go” Yuuri tries to pry Victor’s cold arms from around him.

“But Yuuuuri, you’re so waaarm” Victor purrs his hand suddenly creeping down Yuuri’s abs through his shirt.

Panicking, Yuuri remembers that Chris is with them, lightly laughing at Victor’s inebriated state. He jumps quickly out of Victor’s embrace and pads to the bathroom, leaving the pouting slightly shivering Russian skater. He opens the faucet and adjusts the water before leaving for the tub to fill and walking to the tiny kitchenette to make Chris some coffee.

He walks back to the bed after checking that the bathtub is half full.

“Victor, the bath should be ready. Don’t fall asleep” He chides Victor after handing Chris his coffee. The Russian blinks slowly at him before lazily makes his way to the bath, leaving Yuuri alone with Chris.

“You’re so good to him” Chris comments after a long silence.

For a moment Yuuri is taken back by the sudden statement from the Swiss skater but he smiles back in response. “No, he’s too good for me”

“Don’t cut yourself short, Yuuri. You’re the first person to ever make Victor act so rash”

“He always acts so rashly, from what I’ve heard from Yakov”

“But not on the level of dropping everything to be someone else’s coach” Chris muses, taking a sip of his coffee.

Yuuri can’t help but blush.

“I don’t think he knew what he would be up to when he signed up for all this” Yuuri smiles to himself, thinking of that time Victor didn’t know how to handle Yuuri’s anxiety back in the Cup of China.

“You’re right, but he’s doing his best right?”

Yuuri nods.

“It just goes to show how much he loves you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looks up from his fiddling fingers to Chris who’s smiling at him.

“I just want him to be happy” Yuuri says

“Yuuri, you don’t know how much he wants **_you_** to be happy.” Chris snorts. He stands and places the empty cup of coffee over at the table before going back and placing a reassuring hand over Yuuri’s shoulder. “Trust me, that idiot is head of heels in love with you. So just trust him, okay Yuuri?”

Yuuri blinks. Of all the people, he didn’t expect his anxiety to be mellowed down by Chris nonetheless. He walks up to the older skater and hugs him. “Thank you, Chris”

Chris pats his back. “No problem. Just take care of him, okay?”

Yuuri smiles up at him in response.

The bathroom door opens and Victor, only wearing the hotel’s complimentary bathrobe walks out and stops at the sight of Yuuri in Chris’ arms. “Chris, didn’t I tell you-”

“Calm down, lover boy! It’s just a friendly hug” Chris cuts Victor off, unhooking his arms and walking past Victor to the door. “I need to get back to Masumi anyway so I’ll leave you two boys alone. Remember to stay safe!” He winks at the doorstep before walking out to the hallway and softly shutting the door.

Once they’re left alone, Victor all but tackles Yuuri to the bed, rubbing his face to Yuuri’s.

“Yuuri, I’m so sleepy. Let’s sleep!” Victor whines.

Yuuri sighs. He’s not really sleepy since he just woke up from his jet lagged nap. Victor was different, apparently since the Russian’s body quickly adapts to differing time zones. Perhaps it was a skill Victor picked up from traveling to different countries for competitions.

“You can sleep, Victor. I’m going to call Phichit for a bit” He replies, gently patting the Russian’s head.

“Then, will you stay with me till I fall asleep?” Victor pouts.

Yuuri relents, deciding he’d call the Thai once Victor’s asleep. After all, his boyfriend can sleep in a matter of seconds once he’s found a soft bed. True enough, Victor falls asleep as soon as he’s found a comfortable spot on Yuuri’s bed. Yuuri doesn’t ask him to move to his own bed because he knows it would only upset his boyfriend.

 

 

\--X

 

The next day comes and all the skaters meet at the rink for some much needed practice before the competition starts. Yuuri’s slightly tired especially since he barely slept the night before, only managing to nap again for a few hours before they needed to prepare for training.

“Even if he skates a flawless program, if he skates his old jumps JJ has a higher base score” Victor leans down to Yuuri who’s on the ice while Victor kept at the side lines like the rest of the coaches.

Yuuri nods in understanding. He knows this too well. This led him to the decision of upping his choreography, specifically by adding a quad flip – Victor’s signature move. He just hopes he lands it perfectly in competition.

From the other side, he hears JJ call out that he’s done with practice. Most of them are, including Yuuri. So steps off the ice and Victor automatically lends him his shoulder for Yuuri to grab hold off while he puts his skate guards.

“What should we do for the rest of the day? You should probably take it easy, get a good night’s sleep before the short program tomorrow” Victor says.

“Don’t you turn into a model coach on me now” Yuuri suspiciously looks at Victor. Victor’s obviously worried about him but Yuuri’s having none of that. “It’s my first time in Barcelona. Take me sight-seeing!” He demands, pretending to glare but eventually winking at his coach.

Victor breathes a laugh, his hair flicking. “Your wish is my command” he smiles down at Yuuri.

Yuuri finds himself being dragged around by Victor to some of famous tourist spots like the Sagada Familia, a rooftop of a shopping mall called Arenas de Barcelona, and a colorful building which Yuuri later finds out is called Casa Batillo. Somehow, at the midst of sight-seeing, Victor’s managed coerce Yuuri into shopping. Soon, Yuuri finds his hands full of shopping bags and he drops tired at one of the benches inside the shopping district.

“I haven’t shopped in ages. This is fun!” Victor cheers

“I think I need a break” Yuuri pants from the bench.

“I only wished we could’ve come when the Euro was weaker” Victor comments in high spirits, twirling and smiling heartily at the Japanese boy. “You’re having fun, da?”

“Mm-hm!” Yuuri nods.

Victor thinks of something Yuuri’s not sure what of before he’s suddenly pulling Yuuri again. “Come on, I’m going to buy you a suit for your birthday. Then we can burn that suit and tie you wore at that press conference”

“Huh? Hold on a second you don’t have to do that. And besides I kind of liked that suit. Victor!” Yuuri tries to argue but Victor is already pulling him into one of the shops. He cringes when he sees the logo at the entrance. Leave it to Victor Nikiforov to buy an Armani suit as a birthday present.

Victor asks him to try numerous suits, pushing him back to the fitting room to try on one suit after another if he doesn’t deem them well enough to fit Yuuri.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you” Yuuri lightly glares at Victor.

Victor taps one finger to his lips, contemplating as his eyes travel up and down Yuuri’s form in a dark blue suit. The slim fit suit has a single-breasted two-button jacket with notched lapels, straight shoulders, rear side vents and is shaped trim for a meticulous image.

“Of course I am, it’s not often you let me pay for things” Victor doesn’t even bother disprove Yuuri’s claims. He moves one hand and runs it down Yuuri’s back down to his ass where the suit pants hugs Yuuri’s defined butt and legs.

Yuuri suppresses a shiver.

Victor turns his back to Yuuri and smiles at the tailor-salesman. “We’re getting this. The black leather one as well” He smiles, handing his slick platinum credit card.

Yuuri’s eyes widen at what Victor said. “V-Victor! Two?! At least let me pay for the other one-”

“Nope! I already said I’d buy it for you. We couldn’t just get one since they’re both doing wonders to your ass” He winks, lightly slapping at Yuuri’s butt cheek.

“P-pervert” Yuuri whispers loud enough for only Victor to hear, blushing and hoping no one saw the public display of affection.

Victor all but smiles innocently at him.

It’s not until they’re leaving the high-end tailor shop does Yuuri notice the missing shopping bag. Yuuri makes sure to check all the paper bags he’s carrying to be sure he didn’t misplace it inside another one but after a few minutes of opening and re-checking all the bags, he comes to the conclusion that he is indeed missing one shopping bag.

They try to trace back the places they’ve been to in hopes of finding the missing shopping back. Alas, it was nowhere to be found.

“Oh no look, it’s not here either” Yuuri groans in disappointment, staring at the bench where he had decided to sit down to take a breather a few hours ago.

“Okay. Just calm down and try to remember” Victor says. “It’s a bag of nuts, brown paper with green print. Where did you last see it?”

Yuuri frantically checks the surroundings in hopes that it might have been knocked over.

“Sorry” Yuuri sighs, feeling utterly dumb for having to lost something of Victor’s “I don’t know where else to look. This is my best guess” At this point, there really wasn’t anything else Yuuri could think of in order to fix it but buy another one.

“Don’t worry about it” Victor stops him before he could run back to the kernel store. “I’m sure the shop is probably closed by now. Let’s go, you’re tired right?” Victor smiles serenely at Yuuri, his silver hair and scarf moving along the cold December wind.

“Why are you just assuming that I’m tired” Yuuri glares at his coach.

“Fine. Then I’m tired”

At Victor’s response, Yuuri doesn’t really know what else to say. It feels awfully like Victor’s just trying to comfort him. As if it wasn’t entirely Yuuri’s fault to begin with. It probably wasn’t, but Yuuri’s always been the kind of person to so eager to take the blame. Yuuko and Takeshi always reprimanded him about his lack of fighting spirit. In the end, his anxiety always, **_always_** gets the better of him.

But with Victor, it’s different. He feels so at ease with the older skater that he doesn’t mind putting the blame onto him from time to time. Victor’s childish, awful at coaching, lacks any form of decency when drunk. The list of flaws by one Victor Nikiforov goes on and on, Yuuri discovers. And yet, he’s always there for Yuuri. Always ready to meet him half-way.

For that alone, Yuuri would always be thankful of Victor.

They ended up walking through the nearby Christmas market looking around the stalls and people.

“Your birthday’s coming up. It’s on Christmas day, isn’t it?” Yuuri suddenly remembers, breaking the silence.

Victor hums in response, sipping at his red plastic cup.

“I’ll get you a gift while we’re here” Yuuri decides. At least with Victor present, he’d know what the Russian World Champion would actually like instead of second-guessing, and probably losing his mind on what to actually give. Besides, Victor bought him a suit, more than one, so Yuuri thought it was only necessary to return the favor.

“In Russia, we don’t celebrate until the actual day. And we don’t really celebrate Christmas, not like other countries.”

“Oh okay” Yuuri frowns at this. It doesn’t seem like Victor wants anything at the moment. They probably bought everything he could want from the amount of shopping they did a while ago.

Victor offers him his hot wine and Yuuri declines explaining that he doesn’t like to drink before a competition.

Yuuri doesn’t hear Victor’s retort. Instead, he’s focused on getting a present for Victor. Call him stubborn but he’s already decided on getting a present for his boyfriend. Whether said man likes it or not. Finally, he spots something glittering behind a glass window.

“This is it!” He declares to Victor. “Let’s go in here!”

He convinces himself that the rings are a lucky charm to help him do well in the final. Never mind that they’re wedding rings. Nope, they’re lucky charms in Yuuri’s eyes. The fact that there might be something hidden beneath his actions of purchasing the couple rings could just be a plus to his and Victor’s relationship. It’s also meant to be a gift for all Victor’s done for him, Yuuri mentally explains to himself.

In front of the Sagrada Familia with a choir singing nearby, Yuuri removes Victor’s right glove and inserts a gold ring to his ring finger.

“Thank you, Victor. For everything you’ve done. I-I wanted to get you something and this was the best thing I could think of. Anyway, I-um… I’ll do my best from tomorrow on. S-So… tell me something?” Yuuri knows he’s babbling and probably blushing like crazy. Yuuri doesn’t really care.

It feels like a whole lifetime until Victor finally says something.

“Okay. I’ll tell you something that you won’t even have to think about” He takes Yuuri’s right hand and inserts the other ring in Yuuri’s ring finger.  Yuuri can’t help but look into those perfect blue eyes. “Tomorrow, skate in a way that’s true to yourself. Show me a program that makes you proud.” The ring fits perfectly, Yuuri thinks. And Victor’s response is perfect. It fills Yuuri with so much happiness, and love. Victor’s love.

They left the cathedral and walked arm in arm to find dinner.

Dinner turned out to be a small gathering of all the skaters participating in the finals. Well, most of them were there.

“Why do we all have to eat together” Yurio growls at Otabek Altin who merely shrugs.

They order a lot and soon they’re all happily eating at a wide variety of shrimps, salads, steaks and more. The eerie-ness of it all reminds Yuuri of the phrase, calm before the storm.

“It’s kind of weird huh? I mean all of us hanging out together like this before the competition?” Yuuri comments, drinking his orange juice. “It’s a lot different from last year. I was always on my own then. At the banquet too. I didn’t even have the courage to talk to Victor!” He happily adds. _Oh how that’s all in the past now…_

Victor spits his beer next to him. Literally. Yurio looks at the paella in disgust.

“Are you seriously telling me you don’t remember?!” Victor looks disbelievingly at Yuuri.

“Huh?”

“At the banquet, you got wasted on champagne and started dancing” Chris so helpfully explains. “Everyone was watching”

Yuuri shudders in horror.

“It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!” Yurio glares. He looks like he’s trying to forget something but failing miserably so. “I got dragged into a dance off and it was humiliating!”

“A dance off?!” Yuuri shrieks. “You’re kidding! Say you’re kidding!

“It’s true. I danced with a pole and got naked. Well, mostly.” Chris adds. As if that bit if information was normal to share.

Yuuri **_screams_** in terror. He knows he goes off the rails and gets crazy when he drinks. He knows this all too well. And yet during the banquet, Coach Celestino forced him to attend but Yuuri didn’t feel like talking to anyone and he wasn’t particularly close to anyone either so he might have had too much to drink.

“I still have videos, if you want to see!” Victor perks up next to him

“Me too! But, they’re not for the faint of heart” Chris says, showing his phone to Phichit.

“Are you serious? Yuuri, that’s so dirty!” Phichit eyes the photos with a mixture of amusement and excitement.

“Oh no don’t! I’m begging you, please! Leave me my dignity” Yuuri tries and fails miserably at stopping them.

It’s Chris who notices the rings first.

“So? what’s with the rings you boys are wearing?” He smirks at both Yuuri and Victor.

“Um… I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Yuuri tries to hide his hand but Victor all too proudly responds.

“And look, they match!”

Suddenly, Phichit’s clapping so hard and announcing to the whole place that they just got married. The rest of the people eating all seem so happy at the news and Yuuri hears a few congratulations from the clappings.

“Stooop! Really!! It’s a good luck charm and-”

“Yes, you’ve got it wrong.” Victor speaks up next to him, raising his right hand. The gold ring shining under the luminescent light. “We’ll get married when he wins gold. Right Yuuri?” He smiles knowingly at Yuuri.

“W-What did you just say?”

_Oh no… Bad topic!_

Yuuri looks at the rest of the table and flinches. The air was so thick, Yuuri could slice through it with a bread knife.

“Gold…?” Otabek mutters, brows furrowing.

“Medal?” Phichit raises a brow.

“Haaah?” Chris smiles challengingly.

Yurio scoffs, clicking his tongue. His eyes are deadly enough to kill both of them in an instant, if that was at all possible.

Yuuri tries desperately to fix the mess his boyfriend had created. He ends up stuttering. Luckily, the last participant of the finals swoops in to declare that he’d be the one getting married. This automatically gets the people from the table, including Yuuri, walking out to leave the Canadian couple.

 

 

\--X

 

“Well that was fun!” Victor exclaims once they entered their hotel room. He unceremoniously drops their shopping bags on top of his side of the bed before he sits down at the edge of it. “We should all get together again sometime. We can have a really big ice show and donate the proceeds to charity”

“Yeah wouldn’t that be great” Yuuri scoffs, taking off his scarf and walking to his side of the bed. He stops when feels Victor’s eyes on him.

“You don’t sound pleased” Victor pouts at him.

Yuuri blinks a couple of times and then looks away. “Well, I mean – it does sound nice but I think there would be a lot of preparations needed before we could get it moving, you know?”

“Oh silly Yuuri. You don’t have to think about that!” Victor beams proudly at him. “I have a lot of contacts and I have been getting these requests. I’m sure I can pull it off” He adds, winking at Yuuri.

Yuuri thinks about it and then says, “I guess as long as it doesn’t overlap any other competitions, it could work...”

“Of course!” Victor settles, bringing both his hands together to emit a loud ‘clap’. “We can call it Ice Show: Victor and Friends!”

Suddenly, Yuuri is reminded of a similar ice show that started all this. “Is this like the Onsen on Ice all over again?” Yuuri glares.

Victor thinks about it for a second, one finger tapping his lips. “Maybe... I’m still thinking about the arrangement. But it would definitely be marvelous, for sure!”

Yuuri sighs in defeat. Well, there really was no limit to what Victor could do, as long as he puts his mind into it. “So long as you get the triplets involved, I’m sure they can help you advertise it”

“What a splendid idea, Yuuri!” Victor’s eyes widen in glee before he pulls out his phone from his pocket and types “I’ll contact them to see what they think.”

Victor types away in his phone and Yuuri goes to the bathroom to change into his pajamas.

 

 

\--X

 

They’re about to sleep, cuddling on Yuuri’s side of the bed, when Yuuri addresses the elephant in the room.

“Victor?” Yuuri whispers, afraid the older man might already be asleep.

“Hm?”

“Can I ask something?”

“Of course, love. Anything.” Came the murmured response.

“Wh-when we were eating dinner... You...You said something. Did you mean it?” Yuuri gulps. He’s nervous of Victor’s response and he’d probably regret asking but he wants to know. He needs to know.

“About what, exactly?”

“Th-The... rings?” the last word is barely a whisper, it sounds faint even to Yuuri’s own ears. They’re not exactly invisible. Yuuri can see them perfectly even with the lights off and only the limited streaks of light escaping the curtains. Even with Yuuri’s blurred vision, the gold ring glints beautifully in Yuuri’s finger. He suspects that when he stares down at the arm wrapped around his waist, he’d be greeted by the same sparkle of the gold ring found around Victor’s finger.

It takes a few seconds before Victor responds. He inhales loud and long for Yuuri to recognize and Yuuri feels the arm tighten around his stomach.

“Yuuri, love. Can you face me for a second?”

Yuuri hesitates, afraid. But he eventually complies shifting around until he’s finally looking straight into Victor’s ocean-blue eyes. They looked even more beautiful in the dim light, shining as much as the old rings.

“Yuuri...” Victor starts and something shifts in his face, like he doesn’t know what to say. It baffles Yuuri still how he could make **_the_** Victor Nikiforov turn dissolve a speechless mess. “I want you to know, I mean it. Every word of it”

Yuuri’s breath leaves him. “Why?”

Victor laughs at his query. “Why is the sky blue? Why do we need to breathe?” He lifts his hand and brushes a lock that had covered Yuuri’s eyes. “I found two very important lessons from you, Yuuri. These are things I’ve only experienced when I’m with you. I’m not a fool to let those go. I don’t want to let you go”

Victor spoke the last sentence so sincerely it completely floored Yuuri. The tears flowed freely Yuuri couldn’t control it.

“Oh Yuuri, don’t cry!” Victor rushes, he’s suddenly sitting up and Yuuri up to sit alongside him, their knees touching. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that-”

“You’re the worst!” Yuuri chokes and there’s no hidden anger nor malice behind it. It’s meant to be taken as light comment. So he wipes his face, sniffs, and smiles back to his boyfriend. Scratch that, his fiancé.

“Yuuri...?”

“I can’t believe you proposed at a time like that! Now everyone’s going to talk about it” He glares playfully at Victor, poking his chest with his index finger.

Victor catches Yuuri’s hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the ring. “Yuuri Katsuki, will you become my life and love by marrying me?”

And honestly, there’s only so much a mere human can do. Rejecting one’s idol and the person you’ve fallen in love with is not one of those.

“Only if you get hair implants, because I’m not marrying someone so old”

“Yuuriiiii!” Victor whines. “They’re not gray! It’s called ash-blonde!”

Yuuri chuckles, lifting Victor’s chin and kissing his slightly pouted lips. “I’m kidding. It’s a yes, you big baby.”

Victor grins very brightly at this and he hugs Yuuri with so much force they tumble back onto the bed. They burst into a laughing fit, both equally overjoyed. A few seconds later and they’re kissing, tongues dancing around each other’s and hands roaming to touch skin.

“Want you. Victor, please.” Yuuri gasps when he felt Victor’s clothed cock brush against him.

“We can’t, love. You need to skate tomorrow. I’m not jeopardizing anything just because I can’t keep it in my pants.” Victor nips at his neck, his hands moving along Yuuri’s sides. “Although I’m very tempted to touch you right now.”

Yuuri blinks in confusion because suddenly, the warm weight of Victor on top of him is gone. Said fiancé is currently perched over his luggage, obviously not touching Yuuri as he should be.

“Victoor!” This time, it’s Yuuri who whines.

He hears Victor chuckle and then he’s back on top of Yuuri, with a bottle of lube in one hand.

“You pervert” Yuuri huffs, but he’s already removing his underwear.

“This is an important instrument, Yuuri. How can we have congratulatory sex when you win gold without it?” Victor grins knowingly. Victor squirts a small amount on his palms and wraps his hands around Yuuri and his’ cock.

They move in frantic speed, wanting the release quick. Yuuri’s had so much pent up the last few days due to the pressure and he needs this, so fucking much, thank you.

“V-Victor, close” Yuuri pants, thrusting up to Victor’s hand.

“Go ahead, Yuuri. Come for me.”

Yuuri does, and Victor follows thereafter.

Victor cleans up after the both of them because Yuuri’s too lazy to move. He snuggles back to Yuuri after, arms wrapping around Yuuri and pulling his back to his chest.

“I love you, my Yuuri. I know you’re going to do well tomorrow.” He kisses Yuuri’s hair, inhaling his mint-scented shampoo.

“Love you more.” Yuuri mumbles, eyes falling shut and succumbing to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm really sorry for the delay. Work has been hectic and both Kawalie and I have been busy I guess. I'm working on the final chapter of this fic so hopefully I can post it up before December ends, I plan on dedicating my vacation leaves to writing.
> 
> Again, comments and kudos fuel me to write faster.
> 
> Thank you!  
> \- Tezu


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